by eucman

Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

6437d24aea770e66ca8793ac9e97e77a

WELCOME to Tuesday April 10, 2018.

The Top Signs You’re Out of Shape….. 
1. You’ve ever torn something just trying to turn off the alarm clock.
2. People at work only refer to you by saying, “Hey, Marshmallow Man!”
3. You’ve thrown your back out carrying plastic bags of groceries.
4. Random strangers come up, poke you in the stomach and expect you to giggle.
5. Your record is 34 Pushups and you could have done more if the Ice Cream Man would have taken plastic.
6. You get the Christmas gift of Jiggling’ To The Golden Oldies.
7. You cramp up while watching the Saint Louis City Marathon.
8. Watching Rocky 8 is your idea of a workout video.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

———————————————————————————
DAILY QUOTES...

“An 80-year-old man in Arizona is on trial for robbing a bank. Apparently, he slipped the teller a note that said, ‘Do you know why I came in here?'” -Jimmy Fallon

“A California woman has turned her home into a sanctuary for 1,000 cats. She’s applied for both tax and man exempt status.” -Conan O’Brien

“New Jersey is considering a bill that would outlaw texting while walking, and make it punishable by 15 days in jail. And according to a new poll, people kept running into it.” -Seth Meyers

———————————————————————————-

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
Now that the metric system is in wide use all over the world, we can see why American
have not adopted it:

A miss is as good as 1.6 kilometers.
Put your best .3 of a meter forward.
Spare the 5.03 meters and spoil the child.
Twenty-eight grams of prevention is worth 453 grams of cure.
Give a man 2.5 centimeters and he’ll take 1.6 kilometers.
Peter Piper picked 8.8 liters of pickled peppers. 😐

———————————————————————————

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???

“In your dream, did I get up in the middle of the night and yak in your sink?”

ANSWER:

Weird Science!
After waking up from a night on the town, the boys wonder if it was all a dream….

Tuesdays Movie Trivia of the day!

“I’m a mog. Half man, half dog. I’m my own best friend.”

————————————————————————————

Monday’s Quizzler is………. 

Each group of three definitions describes three words that are spelled the same, except for one letter (each group describes a
different set of words). Example: king, ring, wing.

1a) inexperienced
1b) to address with expressions of kind wishes
1c) unreasonable selfish desire

2a) highly skilled
2b) to conform
2c) to accept formally and put into effect

3a) a committee for judging and awarding prizes
3b) conceal or hide
3c) violent anger

4a) a rounded shape
4b) spoken
4c) a gemstone

A name of a musical instrument is hidden in each of these phrases or sentences.

1. Which arm on Icarus held this instrument?
2. Man wearing kepi a novice player.
3. Orpheus carefully replaced ancient instrument.
4. Educator Gandhi played Bach.
5. No car in Asia has instrument aboard.
6. Instrument played in Olympic colorful parade.
7. Cancel long concert for stringed instrument.
8. Urban joke played on instrument.
9. Angelic playing with arpeggios.
10. Absolutely beautiful playing of stringed instrument.

ANSWER:

1. harmonica
2. piano
3. lyre
4. organ
5. ocarina
6. piccolo
7. cello
8. banjo
9. harp
10. lute


Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….
All answers end in sting and the whole word is obtained in the clues below.

eg: A sting that cures fatigue
answer: reSTING

1. A sting that cures hunger
2. A sting that cleans your room
3. A sting that makes you laugh
4. A sting that cooks your meat
5. A sting that spoils your tools
6. A sting that holds your attention
7. A sting that some observe in Lent
8. A sting that cooks are always using
9. A sting that browns your bread







LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

 

Leave a comment