Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to Wednesday April 11, 2018.

Illogical, Yet Funny English Language………
The market garden was designed to produce produce.

The city tip was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
In the boat, a row erupted amongst the oarsmen about how to row.
The nurse wound the crepe bandage around the wound.
Dessie decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
Chloe was too close to the door to close it.
When Ted saw the tear in the painting he shed a tear.
How can I intimate my thoughts to my most intimate friend?
Sherrie shed her shoes in the shed.
In terms of weight lead is in the lead.
Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
When the stars are out they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.
Why do our noses run but our feet smell?
I did not object to the object.
Freddie filled in his form by filling it out.
Why do performers recite a play, yet play at a recital?

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Wednesday people, and whatever you do,don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

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DAILY QUOTES...

Blessed are the hearts that can bend; they shall never be broken. – Albert Camus

Either I will find a way, or I will make one. – Sir P. Sidney

An invasion of armies can be resisted, but not the invasion of ideas. – Victor Hugo

Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need most. – American Proverb

Be generous with kindly words, especially about those who are absent. – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Do the best you can in every task, no matter how unimportant it may seem at the time. No one learns more about a problem than the person at the bottom. – Sandra Day O’Connor

If you are able to state a problem, it can be solved. – Edwin H. Land

Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood. – Marie Curie

Let me never fall into the vulgar mistake of dreaming that I am persecuted whenever I am contradicted. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good. – Samuel Johnson

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G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
A duel was fought between Alexander Shott and John Nott. Nott was shot and Shott was not.  In this case it is better to be Shott than Nott. Some said that Nott was not shot. But Shott says that he shot Nott. It may be that the shot Shott shot, shot Nott, or it may be possible that the shot Shott shot, shot Shott himself. We think, however, that the shot Shott shot, shot not Shott, but Nott. Anyway it is hard to tell which was shot and which was not.😐😐😱

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Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???

 “I’m a mog. Half man, half dog. I’m my own best friend.”
ANSWER: Spaceballs!

John Candy played Barf (short for Barfolomew), a half man, half dog.

Wednesdays Movie Trivia of the day!

“He sure did have a lot of friends, daddy.”

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Tuesday’s Quizzler is………. 

Each group of three definitions describes three words that are spelled the same, except for one letter (each group describes a
different set of words). Example: king, ring, wing.

1a) inexperienced
1b) to address with expressions of kind wishes
1c) unreasonable selfish desire

2a) highly skilled
2b) to conform
2c) to accept formally and put into effect

3a) a committee for judging and awarding prizes
3b) conceal or hide
3c) violent anger

4a) a rounded shape
4b) spoken
4c) a gemstone

All answers end in sting and the whole word is obtained in the clues below.
eg: A sting that cures fatigue
answer: reSTING

1. A sting that cures hunger
2. A sting that cleans your room
3. A sting that makes you laugh
4. A sting that cooks your meat
5. A sting that spoils your tools
6. A sting that holds your attention
7. A sting that some observe in Lent
8. A sting that cooks are always using
9. A sting that browns your bread

ANSWER: 

1. feasting
2. dusting
3. jesting
4. roasting
5. rusting
6. interesting
7. fasting
8. tasting
9. toasting

Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
My first is in riddle, but not in little.
My second is in think, but not in brink.
My third is in thyme, but not in time.
My fourth is in mother, but not in brother.
My last is in time, but not in climb.

What am I?







LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

 

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