Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to Thursday April 12, 2018.

Differences between men and women (A great Repost)

1. NAMES
If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara.
If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.

2. EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in a $20, even though it’s only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the women get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

3. MONEY
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need, but it’s on sale.

4. BATHROOMS
A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott.
The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

5. ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that… is the beginning of a new argument. 😐

6.CATS
Women love cats.
Men say they love cats, but when women aren’t looking, men kick cats.😁

7. DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

8. FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. 😱

9. SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

10. MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, and she does.😐😎

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

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DAILY QUOTES...

A donkey had an IQ of 186. He had no friends at all though. Because even in the animal kingdom, nobody likes a smart-ass.

You can tell a lot about a woman’s mood by looking at her hands. For example; if she’s holding a handgun, she is probably angry.

The little boy wasn’t getting good marks in school. One day he made the teacher quite surprised. He tapped her on the shoulder and said, “I don’t want to scare you, but my daddy says if I don’t get better grades, somebody is going to get a spanking.”

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G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
Mothers come in all shapes and sizes. For example, an Italian Mother might chastise her
offspring for not eating by saying, “Eat your dinner, or I’ll kill you.”
A Jewish Mother on the other hand would say, “Eat your dinner, or I’ll kill myself.”😐

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Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???

 “He sure did have a lot of friends, daddy.”
ANSWER:

Smokey and the Bandit!
As the funeral procession was leaving the cemetery, blocking a pursuing sheriff Justice from chasing the Bandit, his not-too-bright son uttered this remark.

Thursdays Movie Trivia of the day!

“We’re in a tight spot, boys!”

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Wednesday’s Quizzler is………. 

Each group of three definitions describes three words that are spelled the same, except for one letter (each group describes a
different set of words). Example: king, ring, wing.

1a) inexperienced
1b) to address with expressions of kind wishes
1c) unreasonable selfish desire

2a) highly skilled
2b) to conform
2c) to accept formally and put into effect

3a) a committee for judging and awarding prizes
3b) conceal or hide
3c) violent anger

4a) a rounded shape
4b) spoken
4c) a gemstone

My first is in riddle, but not in little.
My second is in think, but not in brink.
My third is in thyme, but not in time.
My fourth is in mother, but not in brother.
My last is in time, but not in climb.

What am I?

ANSWER: The word rhyme.

Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
Fill in the middle word. This word should correspond with the first and last word.

1) Red ________________ Bulb
2) Green ______________ Leaf
3) Blue _______________ Ball
4) Silver ______________ Saver
5) Gold _______________ Shaft
6) White ______________ Smart
7) Black ______________ Brain
8) Orange _____________ Pouch
9) Peach ______________ Top
10) Brown _____________ Cookie







LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

 

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