Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!


WELCOME to Tuesday May 8, 2018.

Rules for English Usage! 

Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
And don’t start a sentence with a conjunction.
It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
Avoid clichés like the plague (they’re old hat).
Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.
Be more or less specific.
Remarks in brackets (however relevant) are (usually) (but not always) unnecessary.
Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
No sentence fragments.
Contractions aren’t necessary and shouldn’t be used.
Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it’s highly superfluous.
One should NEVER generalize.
Comparisons are as bad as clichés.
Don’t use no double negatives.
Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
One-word sentences? Eliminate.
Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
The passive voice is to be ignored.
Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words
however should be enclosed in commas.
Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.
Kill all exclamation points!!!
Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.
Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forth earth shaking ideas.
Use the apostrophe in it’s proper place and omit it when its not needed.
Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.”
If you’ve heard it once, you’ve heard it a thousand times: Resist hyperbole;
not one writer in a million can use it correctly.
Puns are for children, not groan readers.
Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
Who needs rhetorical questions?
Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!


“A member of the band Journey said ‘Don’t Stop Believing’ was inspired by the time he
borrowed money from his dad to pay his dog’s vet bill. Apparently, the dog was hit by
a midnight train goin’ anywhere.” -Jimmy Fallon

“Asian restaurant chain P.F. Chang’s announced today it will open its first location in
China. Of course, over there they’ll be called ‘P.F. Charles.'” -Seth Meyers

“Some critics are now saying that NASA will be unable to use SpaceX’s rocket because
it’s too small. However, SpaceX insists that it’s just the cold weather.” -Conan O’Brien


G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

I was in a couple’s home trying to fix their Internet connection. The husband called out
to his wife in the other room for the computer password. “Start with a capital S, then 123,” she shouted back.

We tried S123 several times, but it didn’t work. So we called the wife in. As she input
the password, she muttered, “I really don’t know what’s so difficult about typing ‘Start123.'” 😐😁😎

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???

‘We’re on a mission from God.’

ANSWER: The Blues Brothers!

This movie had cameos from Steven Speilberg, Frank Oz, Steve Lawrence, John Lee Hooker, Twiggy, and Paul Reubans (aka Pee-Wee).

Tuesdays Movie Trivia of the day!

‘I am not an animal; I am a human being!’


Monday’s Quizzler is……

A Triple is a Series with 6 sets, each with 3 numbers apiece. The relationship between the first two numbers is the same throughout all of the sets, and the relationship between the last two numbers is also the same, however, it is different than the first relationship. Try and find the missing numbers:

2 5 10
3 10 20
4 17 34
5 __ __
_ 37 __
_ __ 100


2 5 10
3 10 20
4 17 34
5 26 52
6 37 74
7 50 100

Relationship for first two numbers: square it, add 1 (2 squared=4, 4+1=5)
Relationship for last two numbers: double it (5 doubled = 10)

Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….
I have given you a starting word (a clue). Your job is to fill in the blanks with a 4-letter word that matches the clue already given. This 4-letter word must complete the 7-letter word next to it. Have fun!

1. Therefore = ? = V_ _ TI _ _
2. Whirl = ? = A _ _ IR _ _
3. Demeanour = ? = A _ B _ _ _ T
4. Shoestring = ? = G _ _ _ I _ R

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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