Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to Monday May 21, 2018.

Music Styles…….

JAZZ
Five men on the same stage all playing different tunes.

BLUES
Played exclusively by people who woke up this morning.

WORLD MUSIC
Dozen different types of percussion all going at once.

OPERA
People singing when they should be talking.

RAP
People talking when they should be singing.

CLASSICAL
Discover the other 45 minutes they left out of the TV ad.

FOLK
Endless songs about shipwrecks in the 19th century.

BIG BAND
20 men who take it in turns to stand up plus a drummer.

HEAVY METAL:
Codpiece and chaps

HOUSE MUSIC OK as long as it’s not the house next door.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Monday people, and whatever you do, don’t    forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

DAILY QUOTES...

“A growing number of people are going to e-sport arenas to watch other people play video games. It combines the thrill of going to a live sporting event with the thrill of having an unemployed roommate.” -Jimmy Fallon

“Papa John’s has started selling extra-large jugs of its signature garlic sauce. Each jug of garlic sauce is 8 pounds and costs $20. But Papa John’s says it’s a lifetime supply. Because you’re not expected to survive long enough to need a second jug.” -James Corden

“Scientists claim to have succeeded transplanting a memory from the brain of one sea snail and implanting it into another. Or, more likely, all snails live pretty similar lives.” -Seth Meyers


  

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

Curious when I found two black-and-white negatives in a drawer, I had them made into prints. I was pleasantly surprised to see that they were of a younger, slimmer me, taken on one of my first dates with my husband.

When I showed him the photos, his face lit up. “Wow, look at that!” he said. “It’s my old Plymouth!” 😐

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???

“Alright, give me Hamm on 5, hold the Mayo.” 

ANSWER: Airplane!

This was said by Capt. Clarence Oveur, who was played by Peter Graves. He was already on the phone with the Mayo clinic and the operator interrupted his call to tell him he had an emergency call from Dr. Hamm. “Airplane!” was a spoof of the airport disaster movies in the 1970s. The crew of an airplane was taken by a virus, possibly food poisoning. The airplane had to be flown and landed by an ex-war pilot who is now uncomfortable about flying.
Mondays Movie Trivia of the day!
“Anybody not wearing two million sun block is gonna have a real bad day.”
Friday’s Quizzler is……

The following are alternate definitions for words, based on how the words sound.
For example, “To drive by the docks: P _ _ _ _ _ _ _.” would result in “PASSPORT (Pass Port)”.
Can you guess the words described below?

1. What white bears see with: P _ _ _ _ _ _ _.
2. A car’s memoirs: A _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _.
3. How judges get to a small island: C _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _.
4. To live long: D _ _ _ _ _.
5. How good a fibber one is: L _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _.
6. In favor of young men and women: P _ _ _ _ _ _.

Answer:  

1. Polarize (polar eyes)
2. Autobiography (auto biography)
3. Courtship (court ship)
4. Dilate (die late)
5. Liability (lie ability)
6. Protein (pro-teen)
Monday’s Quizzler is……….
Some people’s names (such as “Will Power”) suggest a certain personality or career choice. Given below are some last names and professions (in no particular order). For each last name, your task is to think of a common first name, such that it suggests one of the given professions. Each last name and profession must be used just once.
Example: Sonny Day would suggest a meteorologist.

Last Names: Ding, Flay, King, Lynn, Payne, Peace
Professions: Musician, Author, Chef, Comedian, Architect, Politician

The hint provides the first names.




LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

 

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