WELCOME to Thursday May 31, 2018.
Q: What happened then?
A: He told me, he says, “I have to kill you because you can identify me.”
Q: Did he kill you?😱😱
Was it you or your brother that was killed in the war?
The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?
Were you alone or by yourself?
Q: I show you Exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize that picture?
A: That’s me.
Q: Were you present when that picture was taken?
Were you present in court this morning when you were sworn in?
Q: You say that the stairs went down to the basement?
A: Yes.
Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?
Q: Now then, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
Q: Do you know how far pregnant you are now?
A: I’ll be three months on March 12th.
Q: Apparently then, the date of conception was around January 12th?
A: Yes.
Q: What were you doing at that time?
Do you have any children or anything of that kind?
Was that the same nose you broke as a child?
Q: Mrs. Jones, do you believe you are emotionally stable?
A: I used to be.
Q: How many times have you committed suicide?
So, you were gone until you returned?
You don’t know what it was, and you didn’t know what it looked like, but can you describe it?
Q: Have you lived in this town all your life?
A: Not yet.
A Texas attorney, realizing he was on the verge of unleashing a stupid question, interrupted himself
Q: Do you recall approximately the time that you examined that body of Mr. Huntington at St. Mary’s Hospital?
A: It was in the evening. The autopsy started about 5:30 P.M.
Q: And Mr. Huntington was dead at the time, is that correct?
A: No, you idiot, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was performing an autopsy on him!
“Disney World announced they are finally serving alcohol at every restaurant in the Magic Kingdom. It’s only been a week but I guess Disney is already thinking about changing their slogan. It used to be ‘The Happiest Place on Earth.’ Now they are considering new slogans, like ‘Disney World: Where You Wish Upon a Bar.'” -Jimmy Fallon
“This week a California man recorded his wife giving birth, and accidentally live streamed it to the world on Facebook. I’ve heard of people on Facebook oversharing, but ovary sharing? ” -James Corden
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???
ANSWER: Forrest Gump!
Example: One symptom of bronchitis is a ro___ co___. (The two words are: rough & cough.)
1. A pig farmer’s job could be called p___ w___.
2. A dog injury could be called a ho___ wo___.
3. For racing, a mixed ho___ is wo___ than a thoroughbred.
4. I he___ your be___ has been shaved into a goatee.
but they don’t. See if you can figure out the missing letters in each sentence.
Example: One symptom of bronchitis is a ro___ co___. (The two words are: rough & cough.)
1. A pig farmer’s job could be called p___ w___.
2. A dog injury could be called a ho___ wo___.
3. For racing, a mixed ho___ is wo___ than a thoroughbred.
4. I he___ your be___ has been shaved into a goatee.
but they don’t. See if you can figure out the missing letters in each sentence.
Example: One symptom of bronchitis is a ro___ co___. (The two words are: rough & cough.)
1. A pig farmer’s job could be called p___ w___.
2. A dog injury could be called a ho___ wo___.
3. For racing, a mixed ho___ is wo___ than a thoroughbred.
4. I he___ your be___ has been shaved into a goatee.
Answer: 1. pork work
2. hound wound
3. horse worse
4. heard beard
A new employee at the company had to tell their boss the bad news, but he saw a window of opportunity to get a promotion. When he got to his boss, he told him that the customers really preferred crackers to donuts.
How did he come up with that?
The World According to the Eucman! 