Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to Tuesday August 7, 2018.

Things I’d Like to Hear, Just Once……..
From my auto mechanic:
“That part is much less expensive than I thought.”
“I’ve never seen anyone maintain his car as well as you do.”
“You could get that done more cheaply at the garage down the
street.” “It was just a loose wire. No charge.”

From my son’s preschool teacher:
“Everyone misbehaved today except Michael.”
“Michael traded his candy bar for carrot sticks.”
“I wish we had 20 Michaels.”

From a store clerk:
“The computerized cash register is down. I’ll just add up
your purchases with a pencil and paper.”
“I’ll take a break after I finish waiting on these customers.”
“We’re sorry we sold you defective merchandise. We’ll pick
it up at your home and bring you a new one or give you a
complete refund, whichever you prefer.”

From my doctor:
“Of course I’ll come by your house to check on you.”
“Give me a call at home over the weekend if you’re not feeling better.”
“Sure, come on by this afternoon, we’ll work you in.”
“I’ll call ahead and let them know the most you will pay for that test.”
“Here, take these samples.”
“Don’t worry about it, there’s no charge for that.”
“I recommend you get a second opinion.”

From a contractor:
“Whoever worked on this before sure knew what he was doing.”
“I think I came in a little high on that estimate.”

From my dentist:
“I think you’re flossing too much.”
“I won’t ask you any questions until I take the pick out of
your mouth.”

From a restaurant server:
“I think it’s presumptuous for a waiter to volunteer his
name, but since you ask, it’s Tim.”
“I was slow and inattentive. I cannot accept any tip.”

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Tuesday people,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP!
Peace I am outta here, Eucman!😁😎

DAILY QUOTES… 

“Apple is close to becoming the first U.S. company worth over $1 trillion. Then Americans
looked at their drawers filled with old iPods, and said, ‘Yep. Seems about right.'” -Jimmy Fallon “The USDA has issued a health alert over premade salads and wraps sold at Walgreens due
to concerns they may be contaminated with an intestinal parasite. So, if you’re buying
your meals at Walgreens, I have even more bad news.” -Seth Meyers “Recently, couples in Montana competed in the first ever Rocky Mountain Wife Carrying Championship.
This is a competition where husbands carry their wives on their backs through an obstacle course. The obstacles included a mud pit, a median wall, and a dirt ramp, although most of the couples failed at the final challenge, which was agreeing on a place for dinner.” -James Corden

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

Murphy and his wife went for a stroll in the park. They sit
down on a bench to rest for awhile. Soon they overhear
voices coming from a secluded spot nearby. Suddenly, Mrs.
Murphy realizes that a young man is about to propose. Not
wanting to be eavesdropping during such an intimate moment,
she gently nudges her husband and whispers, “Whistle, to
let that young couple know that someone can hear them.”

To which Murphy replies, “Whistle? Why should I whistle?
Nobody whistled to warn me?”😱😐😁

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???  “I think we should be leaving now.” B: “Yeah, that’s probably a good idea.”

 

ANSWER: Pulp Fiction! That’s Vincent Vega (John Travolta) and Jules Winnfield (Samuel L. Jackson) realizing that they should depart from the scene of several crimes (aggravated assault, mostly) before the police arrive. They then tuck their guns into their waistbands and exit the diner. “Pulp Fiction” is made up of three story arcs which are told out of order and intersect in sometimes unexpected ways.  


Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “Roads? Where we’re going, we don’t need…roads.”

Monday’s Quizzer is…….

Below are 3 pairs of words. Find the words that fit in the middle of each pair of words to create two
new words, one front-ended and one back-ended.

Example: EVER – ______ – HORN
Answer: EVER – GREEN – HORN

1. STEP – __________ – PROOF
2. FIRE – __________ – BOAT
3. PICK – __________ – KNIFE

Answer:  

1. STEP – CHILD – PROOF
2. FIRE – HOUSE – BOAT
3. PICK – POCKET – KNIFE

 

Tuesday’s Quizzer is…

Can you pick the god from the list provided that will complete this group?

Zeus, Hephaestus, Gaea, ?

Choose from: Dionysus, Athena, Hermes, Poseidon, Aphrodite














LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

LINKS: http://www.slampi.org., http://www.hopeBUILD.org. www.GodLovesPraise.com. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#

Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store

 

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