* Maybe it’s true that life begins at fifty. But everything
else is starting to wear out, fall out, or spread out.

* There are three signs of old age. The first is your loss
of memory. I forget the other two.

* You’re getting old when you don’t care where your spouse
goes, just as long as you don’t have to go along.😁

* Middle age is when work is a lot less fun — and fun is a
lot more work.

* Statistics show that at the age of seventy, there are five
women to every man. Now isn’t that a great time for a guy
to get those kind of odds?

* You know you’re getting on in years when the girls at the
office start confiding in you.

* Middle age is when it takes longer to rest than to get
tired.

* By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he’s
too old to go anywhere.

* Middle age is when you have stopped growing at both ends,
and have begun to grow in the middle.

* A man has reached middle age when he is cautioned to slow
down by his doctor instead of by the police.

* You know you’re into middle age when you realize that
caution is the only thing you care to exercise.

* You’re getting old when you’re sitting in a rocker and you
can’t get it started.😱😁

* You’re getting old when you wake up with that morning-
after feeling, and you didn’t do anything the night before!

* The cardiologist’s diet: if it tastes good, spit it out.

* It’s hard to be nostalgic when you can’t remember anything.

* When you lean over to pick something up off the floor, you
ask yourself if there is anything else you need to do while
you are down there.

* You find yourself in the middle of the stairway, and you
can’t remember if you were downstairs going up or upstairs
going down.