WELCOME to Monday August 6, 2018.
* Maybe it’s true that life begins at fifty. But everything
else is starting to wear out, fall out, or spread out.
* There are three signs of old age. The first is your loss
of memory. I forget the other two.
* You’re getting old when you don’t care where your spouse
goes, just as long as you don’t have to go along.😁
* Middle age is when work is a lot less fun — and fun is a
lot more work.
* Statistics show that at the age of seventy, there are five
women to every man. Now isn’t that a great time for a guy
to get those kind of odds?
* You know you’re getting on in years when the girls at the
office start confiding in you.
* Middle age is when it takes longer to rest than to get
* By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he’s
too old to go anywhere.
* Middle age is when you have stopped growing at both ends,
and have begun to grow in the middle.
* A man has reached middle age when he is cautioned to slow
down by his doctor instead of by the police.
* You know you’re into middle age when you realize that
caution is the only thing you care to exercise.
* You’re getting old when you’re sitting in a rocker and you
can’t get it started.😱😁
* You’re getting old when you wake up with that morning-
after feeling, and you didn’t do anything the night before!
* The cardiologist’s diet: if it tastes good, spit it out.
* It’s hard to be nostalgic when you can’t remember anything.
* When you lean over to pick something up off the floor, you
ask yourself if there is anything else you need to do while
you are down there.
* You find yourself in the middle of the stairway, and you
can’t remember if you were downstairs going up or upstairs
“IKEA has announced plans to test out small-scale stores that could fit more easily into
“Yelp is going to start showing what restaurants scored on their health inspections. If you
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
away from the North Dakota border. Their land had been the
subject of a minor dispute between the United States and
Canada for generations. Mrs. Michael’s, who had just cele-
brated her ninetieth birthday, lived on the farm with her
son and three grandchildren.
One day, her son came into her room holding a letter. “I just
got some news, Mom,” he said. “The government has come to an
agreement with the people in Washington. They’ve decided that
our land is really part of the United States. We have the
right to approve or disapprove of the agreement. What do you
“What do I think?” his mother said. “Jump at it! Call them
right now and tell them we accept! I don’t think I could
stand another one of them Canadian winters!”😐
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? “Hey — you wanna see something REALLY scary?”
ANSWER: Twilight Zone: The Movie! The prologue of this film ends with Dan Aykroyd’s hitchhiking character posing exactly this question to the hapless driver (Albert Brooks) who was dumb enough to pick him up…and subsequently shuffles loose this mortal coil at the monstrous hands of his passenger. Aykroyd shows up again at the end of the film, somehow posing as an ambulance driver. He asks John Valentine (John Lithgow), the patient in the back of the ambulance, the same question. Bad news for Mr. Valentine!
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “I think we should be leaving now.” B: “Yeah, that’s probably a good idea.”
Friday’s Quizzer is…….
It prods a man’s hand, and it robs him of sleep,
It makes him climb mountains and travel the deep,
It makes him go wander down deep in a cave,
and do almost anything stupid or brave,
The longer denied the greater it grows,
It makes a man learn ’till he thinks that he knows.
Monday’s Quizzer is……
Example: EVER – ______ – HORN
Answer: EVER – GREEN – HORN
1. STEP – __________ – PROOF
2. FIRE – __________ – BOAT
3. PICK – __________ – KNIFE
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
LINKS: http://www.slampi.org., http://www.hopeBUILD.org. www.GodLovesPraise.com. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#
Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store