AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks’ trus) adj. Possessing the ability
to turn the bathtub faucet on and off with your toes.

CARPERPETUATION (kar’ pur pet u a shun) n. The act, when
vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at
least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up,
examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum
one more chance.

DISCONFECT (dis kon fekt’) v. To sterilize the piece of
candy you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, assuming
this will somehow ‘remove’ all the germs.

ELBONICS (el bon’ iks) n. The actions of two people
maneuvering for one armrest in a movie theater.

FRUST (frust) n. The small line of debris that refuses to be
swept onto the dust pan and keeps backing a person across
the room until he finally decides to give up and sweep it
under the rug.

LACTOMANGULATION (lak’ to man gyu lay’ shun) n. Manhandling
the “open here” spout on a milk container so badly that one
has to resort to the `illegal’ side.

PEPPIER (pehp ee ay’) n. The waiter at a fancy restaurant
whose sole purpose seems to be walking around asking diners
if they want ground pepper.

PHONESIA (fo nee’ zhuh) n. The affliction of dialing a phone
number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they
answer.

PUPKUS (pup’ kus) n. The moist residue left on a window
after a dog presses its nose to it.

TELECRASTINATION (tel e kras tin ay’ shun) n. The act of
always letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick
it up, even when you’re only six inches away.