Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to Wednesday August 15, 2018.

Some funny Sniglets (made up slang words)

Alfred Hitchcooking – the act of stabbing the frozen peas to get them to cook faster

An udder failure – a cow that doesn’t give milk

Bawlroom – a hospital nursery

Bruise Lee – an inept martial-arts student

Chirpes – a canarial disease, no tweetment

Cinemuck – popcorn, soda, and candy that covers the floors of movie theaters

Fobia – the fear of misspelled words

Genderplex – trying to determine from the cutesy pictures which restroom to use

Giraffiti – vandalous spray-painting really high up

Lullabouy – an idea that keeps floating into your head and prevents you from drifting off to sleep

Mallennium – a thousand years of shopping

Planned Parrothood – charitable foundation whose purpose is domestic breeding of macaws and cockatoos

Sarchasm – the gulf between the author of sarcastic wit & recipient who doesn’t get it😐

Snackmosphere – the 95% air inside bags of potato chips

Snack Trek – the peculiar habit, when searching for a snack, of constantly returning to the refrigerator in hopes that something new will have materialized

Weelief – the feeling one gets upon spotting a rest stop on the interstate.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Wednesday people,

and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP!

Peace I am outta here, Eucman!😁😎

DAILY QUOTES…

“My uncle Sammy was an angry man. He had printed on his tombstone: ‘What are you looking at?’”Margaret Smith

“If at first you don’t succeed, find out if the loser gets anything.”
William Lyon Phelps

“Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.”
Johnny Carson

“If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the up button.” Sam Levenson

“If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments.”
Earl Wilson

“A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.”
Bob Hope

“The human brain is a wonderful thing. It starts working the moment you are born, and never stops until you stand up to speak in public.” George Jessel

“Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving.”
Author Unknown

“Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!” Author Unknown😱

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there’s a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever.

Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there’s a huge flower

line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers.

Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there’s a large limo line at the rental office, but he’s patient and gets the job done.

Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch,

so he heads over to the punch table and there’s no punchline. 😐😎

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? “Space: the final frontier. These are the continuing voyages of the starship ENTERPRISE. Her ongoing mission:to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life forms and new civilizations, to boldly go where no man has gone before.”

ANSWER:Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan! Only one of the ten “Star Trek” films ended with this slightly altered version of the credo that was heard in the opening credits of both the original “Star Trek” and “Star Trek: The Next Generation” television shows. Spock (Leonard Nimoy) spoke these lines at the end of 1982’s “Star Trek II”.

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? A: “It WAS the boogeyman, wasn’t it?” B: “As a matter of fact…it was.”

Tuesday’s Quizzer is…….

Three brothers share a family sport:
A non-stop marathon
The oldest one is fat and short
And trudges slowly on
The middle brother’s tall and slim
And keeps a steady pace
The youngest runs just like the wind,
Speeding through the race
“He’s young in years, we let him run,”
The other brothers say
“‘Cause though he’s surely number one,
He’s second, in a way.”

Answer: The hands on a clock (hour, minute, and second).

Wednesday’s Quizzer is……

Which phrase from group B belongs with the words in group A?

Group A
Lonely
Patent
Canines
Freighter
Artwork

Group B
Local Election
News Event
Tax Return
Brainy Teaser
Play Date

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

LINKS: http://www.slampi.org., http://www.hopeBUILD.org. www.GodLovesPraise.com. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#

Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store

http://www.amazon.com

Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store