Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to Tuesday August 14, 2018.

Here’s the story……
C, E-flat and G go into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve minors,” and
E-flat leaves. C and G have an open fifth between them. After a few drinks, the fifth is
diminished and G is out flat. F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not
sharp enough. D comes into the bar and heads straight for the bathroom saying,
“Excuse me, I’ll just be a second.”

A comes into the bar, but the bartender is not convinced that this relative of C is not a

minor and sends him out. Then the bartender notices a B-flat hiding at the end of the
bar and shouts, “Get out now. You’re the seventh minor I’ve found in this bar tonight.”

Next night, E-flat, not easily deflated, comes into the bar in a 3-piece suit with nicely

shined shoes. The bartender says: “You’re looking pretty sharp tonight. Come on in.
This could be a major development.” Sure enough, E-flat takes off his suit and
everything else and stands there au naturel.

Eventually, C, who had passed out under the bar the night before, begins to sober up and

realizes in horror that he’s under a rest. So, C goes to trial, is convicted of contributing to
the diminution of a minor and sentenced to 10 years of DS without Coda at an up scale
correctional facility. The conviction is overturned on appeal, however, and C is found
innocent of any wrongdoing, even accidental, and that all accusations to the contrary are bassless.

The bartender decides, however, that since he’s only had tenor so patrons, the soprano out in the bathroom, and everything has become alto much treble, he needs a rest and closes the bar.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday people,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP!
Peace I am outta here, Eucman!😁😎

DAILY QUOTES… 

“Nintendo fans are worried about Mario’s brother, Luigi, because in a trailer for a new game, he appears as a ghost. They said 30 years of jumping ‘groin-first’ into a
flagpole must’ve finally caught up to him.” -Jimmy Fallon

“A beach near San Francisco yesterday hosted the annual world dog surfing championships. And just like last year, the surfers had a really hard time staying on their dogs.” -Seth Meyers

“A man in Florida was recently arrested after running into a liquor store with a live alligator and chasing people who were shopping there. I’m just going to say it: This emotional support animal thing has officially gone too far.” -James Corden


G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

A young clergyman, fresh out of seminary, thought it would
help him better understand the fears and temptations his
future congregations faced if he first took a job as a
policeman for a year. He passed the physical examination;
then came the oral exam to test his ability to act quickly
and wisely in an emergency.

Among other questions he was asked, “What would you do to
disperse a frenzied crowd?”

He thought for a moment and then said, “I would take up a
collection.”😐😱😁

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???  “Ernest Hemingway once wrote: ‘The world is a fine place, and worth saving.’ I agree with the second part.”

 

ANSWER: Se7en! Detective William Somerset (Morgan Freeman) speaks these final words in voice-over narration as a coda of sorts to the horrific events that make up the climax of this film. “Se7en” is about two mismatched detectives who attempt to find the serial killer who is systematically killing people and using the seven deadly sins as a guidebook.


Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???“Space: the final frontier. These are the continuing voyages of the starship ENTERPRISE. Her ongoing mission: to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life forms and new civilizations, to boldly go where no man has gone before.”

Monday’s Quizzer is…….

Starting with a one-letter word or abbreviation, add a letter and rearrange the letters to produce the next. A clue is given for each.

Maybe your car does 0 to 60 in 10 sec., but can you do this “0 to 10” in 60 sec.? Go on – get out the stopwatch!

The hint provides the starting letters of the even numbered words.

1. Describing a 180 degree turn
2. Greek’s 13th letter
3. e.g. Macadamia, pecan, or acorn
4. Large fish, usually found in small cans
5. Mum’s sisters
6. Remove (someone) from position of power
7. Crazy person – or a container for #3!
8. Creatures of Greek mythology: half man and half horse
9. More loyal and devoted
10. Most slovenly or grubby; most earthy or vulgar

Answer:

1. U
2. Nu
3. Nut
4. Tuna
5. Aunts
6. Unseat
7. Nutcase
8. Centaurs
9. Stauncher
10. Raunchiest

Tuesday’s Quizzer is…

Three brothers share a family sport:
A non-stop marathon
The oldest one is fat and short
And trudges slowly on
The middle brother’s tall and slim
And keeps a steady pace
The youngest runs just like the wind,
Speeding through the race
“He’s young in years, we let him run,”
The other brothers say
“‘Cause though he’s surely number one,
He’s second, in a way.”


LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

LINKS: http://www.slampi.org., http://www.hopeBUILD.org. www.GodLovesPraise.com. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#

Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store

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