Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to Monday September 24, 2018.

Here’s the story, “I’ve learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today,

life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.”

“I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles

these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.”

“I’ve learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you’ll miss them when they’re gone from your life.”

“I’ve learned that making a ‘living’ is not the same thing as ‘making a life’.”

“I’ve learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.”

“I’ve learned that you shouldn’t go through life with a catcher’s mitt on both hands;

you need to be able to throw some things back.”

“I’ve learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually

make the right decision.”

“I’ve learned that even when I have pains, I don’t have to be one.” My wife has really

helped me figure that out.

“I’ve learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a

warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back.”

“I’ve learned that I still have a lot to learn.😎

” Finally “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

That’s my story and I’m sticking too it! HAVE A GREAT MONDAY PEOPLE! And whatever you do,don’t forget to LAFF IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!

DAILY QUOTES…

“Scientists have announced plans to build a genetic Noah’s Ark which will contain genetic information from 66,000 species, beating the previous record held by the comforters at Days Inn.” -Seth Meyers

“A restaurant owner in Maine is testing out what she believes to be a more humane way of killing the lobsters they serve. What they do is they get the lobsters high on marijuana smoke before they cook them. For real. I would bet $100 she came up with this idea while she was smoking in a Jacuzzi.” -Jimmy Kimmel

“There was some big news from the world of social media. Today, Facebook began testing its new product, Facebook Dating. And if the test goes well it could come to your phone soon. Facebook Dating, or as it’s already known, ‘stalking.'” -James Corden

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

My father is a skilled CPA who is not great at self-promotion.
So when an advertising company offered to put my father’s
business placard in the shopping carts of a supermarket, my
dad jumped at the chance.

Fully a year went by before we got a call that could be traced
to those placards.

“Richard Larson, CPA?” the caller asked.

“That’s right,” my father answered. “May I help you?”

“Yes,” the voice said. “One of your shopping carts is in my
yard, and I want you to come and get it.”😐

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? “I’m making waffles!”

ANSWER: Donkey in the movie “Shrek” The correct answer is of course Donkey in the movie ‘Shrek’ The full quoye, said to Shrek, the ogre is, ‘We’ll stay up late swapping manly stories, and in the morning, I’m making waffles!’ Not surprisingly, Shrek wasn’t impressed. This film was released in 2001 and it won the very first Academy Award for Best Animated Feature Film in the same year. The story takes viewers to a fairy tale setting where an ‘evil’ ogre, Shrek, must save and protect Princess Fiona and deliver her to the antagonist, Lord Farquaad. In the particular scene from which the quote is pulled, Shrek has saved Donkey early on in the movie, and Donkey is looking to Shrek to be his friend. When Shrek decides to let him come to his swamp, Donkey has plans to settle right in.

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???

“Well, you know what they say: if you don’t have anything nice to say about anybody, come sit by me!”

Friday’s Quizzer is…….

Marvin and Loren are exploring a forest in Queensland. They spotted a nice rainbow earlier, and then decided to go see the wildlife near the river. Loren spots a weird but harmless looking mammal and goes for a closer look. Marvin yells to be careful because it is venomous. Loren laughs, thinking Marvin must be joking. Unfortunately Loren gets too close and is stung in the hand. Loren starts to cry out in pain. Marvin comes over to Loren to tell him how stupid he is, but at least the venom is not lethal. What did Loren get stung by?

Answer: Duckbill Platypus
Male platypuses have venomous spurs.

Monday’s Quizzer is……

Changing one letter in each of the following words will make new words that are all related to each other. What are the new words?

Storm
Payable
Cable
Moth

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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