Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to Thursday October 18, 2018.

THESE ARE ACTUAL EXCERPTS FROM STUDENT SCIENCE EXAM PAPERS:
Charles Darwin was a naturalist who wrote the organ of the species.
Benjamin Franklin produced electricity by rubbing cats backwards.
The theory of evolution was greatly objected to because it made man think.
Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes and caterpillers.
The process of turning steam back into water again is called conversation.
The Earth makes one resolution every 24 hours.
To collect fumes of sulfur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test tube.
Algebraical symbols are used when you do not know what you are talking about.
The pistol of a flower is its only protection against insects.
Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire.
A super-saturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold.
A triangle which has an angle of 135 degrees is called an obscene triangle.
When you haven’t got enough iodine in your blood you get a glacier.
For fractures: to see if the limb is broken, wiggle it gently back and forth.
To remove dust from the eye, pull the eye down over the nose.
For asphyxiation: apply artificial respiration until the patient is dead.
When you smell an odorless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide. 
That’s my story and I’m sticking too it! HAVE A GREAT THURSDAY PEOPLE!
And whatever you do, don’t forget to LAFF IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!


DAILY QUOTES…

 

“Medical marijuana users are now lobbying for the right to carry firearms. Because no one is a better shot than a stoned old man with glaucoma.” -Conan O’Brien

“A new study found that dogs can actually feel genuine love for their owners. While cats just keep a journal of all the things they hate about you.” -Jimmy Fallon

“China has overtaken the United States as the world’s biggest food and grocery market. That means they buy and consume more food than we do. Which when you think about it of course they do. A half hour after they eat, they’re hungry again. It’s Chinese food.” -Jimmy Kimmel

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

A magician calls a man up on stage, hands him a mallet and
instructs the guy to hit him as hard as possible on the head.

The magician then proceeds to put his head down on a wooden
block.

The man shrugs his shoulders and takes a mighty swing.

Three years later, the magician wakes up from a coma in the
hospital and goes…. “Taa-Daa!”😐😱😁

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???   “I want my mommy!”  “I’m all you got.”

ANSWERKramer vs. Kramer! In the events just preceding these lines, newly-divorced father Ted Kramer (Dustin Hoffman) warns his young son Billy (Justin Henry) about eating ice-cream before dinner with the line “Hold it right there! You put that ice cream in your mouth and you are in very, very, VERY big trouble.” Of course, Billy does it anyway. After the resulting fight, Billy says the first line and Ted replies with the second. This famous scene was completely improvised by both Dustin Hoffman and Justin Henry and the director liked it so much he kept it in the final cut. In the 1980 Academy Awards,

“Kramer vs. Kramer” won five Oscars, including Best Picture, Dustin Hoffman for Best Actor in a Leading Role and Meryl Streep for Best Actress in a Supporting Role.

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???

“William Wallace is seven feet tall.”  “Yes, I’ve heard. Kills men by the hundreds.”

Wednesday’s Quizzer is…….

When you curtail a word, you remove the last letter and still have a valid word.

You will be given clues for the two words, longer word first.
Example: Begin -> Heavenly body
Answer: The words are Start and Star.

1. Position; observe -> Compete
2. Introductory textbook -> First in rank
3. School subject -> Floor covering
4. Written composition -> Show displeasure
5. Make again -> A colour
6. What person (objective) -> What person (subjective)
7. Close together; slow to learn -> Lairs
8. Therefore -> Unit of energy

Bonus: Take the eight curtailed letters and form a one-word anagram; you will find an assignment. 

 
Answer: 1. View -> Vie
2. Primer -> Prime
3. Math -> Mat
4. Book -> Boo
5. Redo -> Red
6. Whom -> Who
7. Dense -> Dens
8. Ergo -> Erg

Bonus: HOMEWORK 


 
 

Thursday’s Quizzer is…

I am a rock group that has 4 members, all of whom are dead, one of
which was assassinated. What am I?




LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

LINKS: http://www.slampi.org., http://www.hopeBUILD.org. www.GodLovesPraise.com. CHECK OUT MY BOOK online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#

Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store

 

 

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