Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to Thursday January 3, 2019.
Today in interest of continuing education, we take a look at American Slurvian Language.
Antidote:  A story.  “I love your antidote about the time you made dinner for the boss.
Bar:      To take temporarily.  “May I bar your eraser?”
Calvary:  A mobile army unit.  “At the last minute, the wagon train was saved by the Calvary.
Dense:    A tooth expert.  “Yuck!  I have a dense appointment today.”
Forced:   A large cluster of trees. “Only you can prevent forced fires.”
Formally: earlier.  “Today, she’s a millionaire, but formally she tried to make a living by being an English teacher.
Girl:    An article of feminine underclothing.  “She had to work hard to get her girl on.”
Granite:  conceded.   “Too many people take the good life for granite.”
Intensive:  Part of an idiom, as in “for all intensive purposes,”rather than the correct “for all intents and purposes.”  OK what?

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! HAVE A GREAT THURSDAY PEOPLE! Whatever you do, don’t forget to LAFF IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman! 

My New Year’s resolution this year was to get a gym membership, use it twice, and then never use it again. I’m already halfway there.” -Jimmy Kimmel

“A seventh grade teacher in California was arrested for teaching while drunk. Which is why an entire Earth Science class now thinks hurricanes are formed when rum collides with lime juice, passion fruit, and crushed ice in a hot pink souvenir cup from Senor Frog’s.” -Jimmy Fallon

“New research came out that reveals that being attractive in high school leads to success later in life. So finally some good news for hot, popular teenagers.” -Conan O’Brien  

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

Rushing to get to the movies, my husband and I told the kids we had to leave “right now”at which point our teenage daughter headed for the bathroom to apply makeup. Her dad yelled for her to get in the car immediately, and headed for the garage grumbling.

On the way to the multiplex my husband glanced in the rearview mirror and caught our teen applying lipstick and blush, which produced the predictable lecture. “Look at your mom,” he said. “She didn’t put on any makeup just to go sit in a dark movie theater.”
From the back I heard, “Yeah, but Mom doesn’t need makeup.” My heart swelling with the compliment, I turned back to thank this sweet, wonderful daughter of mine just as she continued, “Nobody looks at her.” 😱😳
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???
“Every man… every man has to go through Hell to reach paradise.”


Answer:  Cape Fear!  Sam Bowden is an attorney who, 14 years ago, withheld evidence in his client Max Cady’s rape trial that would have knocked years off Cady’s sentence.

While in prison, Cady dreams of taking his revenge against Bowden. In his mind, Bowden is the reason he’s lost his wife, his child, and 14 years of his life. When Cady is released, he heads straight for Bowden looking for revenge. But instead of going after Bowden himself he focuses on his wife and daughter. The context of the quote is from the scene where Max Cady tricks Bowden’s daughter Danielle into meeting him, allegedly for a part in a school drama. Danielle quickly discovers the ruse and curious, she asks of Cady: “Well um, why do you hate my father?” To which Cady answers: “I don’t hate him at all. Oh, no, I pray for him. I’m here to help him. I mean, we all make mistakes, Danielle. You and I have. At least we try to admit it. Don’t we? But your daddy, he don’t. Every man carries a circle of Hell around his head like a halo. Every man, every man has to go through Hell to reach his paradise.”

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???

“Ahem, according to Starfleet medical research… Borg implants can cause severe skin irritations. Perhaps you’d like an analgesic cream?”


Wednesday’s Quizzer is…….

Follow these steps and see if you can figure this out.

1) Get a brown, cardboard box.
2) Get purple, orange, and turquoise paints.
3) Paint the box orange.
4) Paint on purple spots.
5) Paint on turquoise stripes.
7) Turn it upside down.
8) Lie on your side.

What is missing from this sequence?

Answer: Step 6!

Thursday’s Quizzer is…….


Five guests, Mr. Rose, Ms. Tulip, Sir Daisy, Lord Pansy and Miss Lily, were all invited to an exclusive party at Brainteaser Mansion. However, during the long, dark night, the owner of the spectacular mansion, Mr. Death, was found dead in his office. The trouble is, every member of the party went into his office, each at a different time, with a different weapon, motive and clue that incriminated them. From their statements below, can you work out who killed him?

Mr. Rose’s statement: “I didn’t do it. I never left a footprint because a woman did. I entered the room before the person who took in the poison. I must say though, she was in there for a quarter of an hour before someone else went in!”

Ms. Tulip’s statement: “Okay, I admit it! I took in the revolver, even though my motive wasn’t revenge. A man entered the room after me and his motive was either rage or blackmail.”

Sir Daisy’s statement: “All I know is, I did leave a fingerprint, but that doesn’t explain why Miss Lily lost a hair, does it? Oh yes! The person who entered seventy minutes before me took in the lead pole.”

Lord Pansy’s statement: “I entered after a woman, who did not take in rope because the last person to visit him did. I was in there for more than thirty-five minutes confronting Mr. Death with my motive, which, may I say, wasn’t greed or blackmail.”

Miss Lily’s statement: “Yes, you caught me! My motive was jealousy, but it wasn’t as bad as that man’s blackmail motive, who entered at five minutes past nine. I entered before another man who left the incriminating clue of the blood drop.”

The person who entered the room at half past ten is the real killer. Who did it?

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!
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RECOMMENDED WEBSITE LINKS: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store


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