WARNING: If you have some or all of the above symptoms, please be advised that your condition of inner peace may be so far advanced as to not be curable. If you are exposed to anyone exhibiting any of these symptoms, remain exposed only at your own risk.
Since spaghetti is now ‘pasta’ and a TV set is a ‘home entertainment system,’ the manager of my grocery store did his best to jazz up the lowly egg. He still has some work to do. A sign he put up in the dairy section advertised “Boneless Chicken.”
Students at school were asked to write about the harmful environmental effects of oil on fish. One 11-year old wrote, “When my mom opened a tin of sardines last night it was full of oil and all the sardines were dead.”😱
Answer: Kindergarten Cop!
In “Kindergarten Cop” (1990), Phoebe O’Hara (played by Pamela Reed) has been badly injured by Eleanor Crisp. Eleanor Crisp and her son Cullen Crisp, Sr. are desperately seeking Cullen’s young son, who is being protected from his evil father. Upon finding him, they stop at nothing to try to kidnap the boy, which is when Eleanor drives her car into Phoebe. Injured and weak, taking a bat in hand and heading to the defense of Detective John Kimball (played by Arnold Schwarzenegger), Phoebe manages to knock Eleanor down and out with a baseball bat while expressing this great quote, “You’re not so tough without your car, are ya?”
“Every man… every man has to go through Hell to reach paradise.”
What do the following words have in common?
Banana
Dresser
Grammar
Potato
Revive
Uneven
Voodoo
Follow these steps and see if you can figure this out.
1) Get a brown, cardboard box.
2) Get purple, orange, and turquoise paints.
3) Paint the box orange.
4) Paint on purple spots.
5) Paint on turquoise stripes.
7) Turn it upside down.
8) Lie on your side.
What is missing from this sequence?
The World According to the Eucman! 