Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers, and Teases

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WELCOME to Monday December 31, 2018.

FACEBOOK QUOTES AND SAYINGS…..

I do take u 2 be my lawfully wedded Facebook buddy. To have and 2 harass in 2019, in rich quotes, videos, and poor funny jokes. Till low cell phone batteries, data plans, credits, slow internet or minutes do us part? I promise to like, love, laugh, wow, get sad, and mad at all of your stuff. My life is full of mistakes, but something I will never regret is meeting you online! You may now kiss da screen… Send this to 20 true friends who will greet you in real life.. FAKE ones won’t send it back.

  1. Never interrupt your opponent while he’s making a mistake.
  2. Sarcasm helps keep people from understanding you’re saying what you really think of them.
  3. I once prayed to God for a bike, but quickly found out He didn’t work that way—so I stole a bike and prayed for His forgiveness.
  4. A train station is where the train stops. A bus station is where the bus stops. On my desk, I have a work station…
  5. You can’t be late until you show up.
  6. War doesn’t determine who’s right—it determines who’s left.
  7. If you think things can’t get worse, it’s probably only because you lack sufficient imagination.
  8. Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.
  9. Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are good is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian.
  10. Books have knowledge, knowledge is power, power corrupts, corruption is a crime, and crime doesn’t pay. So if you keep reading, you’ll go broke.
  11. You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.
  12. It may look like I’m doing nothing, but I’m actively waiting for my problems to go away.
  13. Every rule has an exception, especially this one.
  14. History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives. ~ Abba Eban
  15. The United States is a nation of laws: badly written and randomly enforced. ~ Frank Zappa
  16. Don’t let your mind wander—it’s too little to be let out alone.
  17.  To err is human. To arr is pirate.
  18. I’d call you a tool, but even they serve a purpose.
  19. If at first you don’t succeed, destroy any evidence that you ever tried.
  20. I am a bomb technician. If you see me running, try to keep up.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! HAVE A GREAT MONDAY PEOPLE! Whatever you do, don’t forget to LAFF IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman! SEE YOU NEXT YEAR! 
DAILY QUOTES…

“More millennial’s are looking to get rid of extra piercings and even remove their

tattoos. Researchers say it’s due to a new phenomenon occurring among millennial’s called turning 30.” -Jimmy Fallon

“A new study suggests that marriage is more beneficial for men than women. The
results of the study were shouted at me through a locked bedroom door.” -Seth Meyers

“A study has confirmed that eating less increases your lifespan. The study goes on

to advise the residents of Wisconsin to get their affairs in order.” -Conan O’Brien  
 
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

My friend Kimberly announced that she had started a diet to lose some pounds she had put on recently.

“Good!” I exclaimed. “I’m ready to start a diet too. We can be dieting buddies and help each other out. When I feel the urge to go out and get a burger and fries, I’ll call you first.”

“Great!” she replied. “I’ll ride with you.” 😳

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???
“Roads? Where we’re going, we don’t need roads.”

 

Answer: Back to the Future! At the film’s close, Doc Emmett Brown (Christopher Lloyd) has hustled Marty McFly (Michael J. Fox) and Marty’s girlfriend Jennifer Parker (Claudia Wells) into the time-traveling DeLorean to head into the future (and set up the sequel). When Marty worries aloud that they don’t have enough road ahead of them to get the car up to the magic speed of 88 mph, Doc Brown responds with the quote above, and the car then sprouts wings and takes off into the sky.

When the camera pans back to show the flying car, it’s clear the filmmakers goofed up–the road stretches off into the distance, so Marty shouldn’t have been worried. There was plenty of road ahead to accelerate up to 88 mph.

 
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???

“You’re not so tough without your car, are ya?”

 

Friday’s Quizzer is…….

Can you decipher the musical instruments represented below?

1. P O
2. BA BA
3. ECLART

4. @ # $ %

Answer: 1. Piano (P and O)  2. Tuba (Two BA)  3. Clarinet (CLAR in ET)  4. Cymbals (Symbols)

 

Monday’s Quizzer is…….

What do the following words have in common?

Assess
Banana
Dresser
Grammar
Potato
Revive
Uneven
Voodoo

 

SEE YOU NEXT YEAR!  LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
RECOMMENDED WEBSITE LINKS:

 

Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store

 

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