“More millennial’s are looking to get rid of extra piercings and even remove their tattoos. Researchers say it’s due to a new phenomenon occurring among millennial’s called turning 30.” -Jimmy Fallon
“A study has confirmed that eating less increases your lifespan. The study goes on to advise the residents of Wisconsin to get their affairs in order.” -Conan O’Brien
The wise old Mother Superior was dying.
The nuns gathered around her bed, trying to make her
comfortable. They gave her some warm milk to drink, but
she refused it. Then one nun took the glass back to the
kitchen. Remembering a bottle of whiskey received as a
gift the previous Christmas, she opened it and poured a
generous amount into the warm milk.
Back at Mother Superior’s bed, she held the glass to her
lips. Mother drank a little, then a little more, then
before they knew it, she had drunk the whole glass down
to the last drop.
Mother, Mother” the nuns cried, “Give us some wisdom before
you die!”
She raised herself up in bed with a pious look on her face
and pointing out the window, she said,
“Don’t sell that cow!”
Answer: I Am a Fugitive From a Chain Gang!
The film loosely portrays the story of Robert E. Burns, who actually helped with the production of the film for a few weeks, while still on the run from the authorities in Georgia. All of the other films were also released in 1932. “Horse Feathers” starred the Marx Brothers, “The Big Stampede” starred John Wayne and “As You Desire Me” starred Greta Garbo.
One day, I was waiting to get on the subway. I was eating the apple I always have for breakfast, and I decided to sit next to a homeless man on the bench. While waiting, we saw a fat man walk by us. The hobo then muttered, “Pig.”
The next day, the hobo was still there at the subway station. Today I watched from a distance. Several people walked past him; a skinny woman, a muscular man, and an old lady. In turn he muttered, “Soup,” “Pork,” and “Cookie.”
Odd labels, I thought, because obviously none of them was a cookie. I got on the subway again, and proceeded to work. I could not stop thinking about the odd man at the subway station.
I observed him for days to come, and he continued this odd behavior. He would call people bread, carrot, rabbit, milk, and other strange things.
The next day, I walked by the homeless man once again, and he silently muttered, “Apple.”
At that point, I finally recognized what was going on. Then, remembering something, I was stricken with horror.
What was the hobo’s ability, and why was I horrified?
The reason I was horrified was because the first day I saw him, he had said “Human” to somebody, implying that they were a cannibal.
Can you decipher the musical instruments represented below?
4. @ # $ %
The World According to the Eucman! 