Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

14061609_f520
WELCOME to Monday January 7, 2019.
Choosing a movie? Try these extremely abbreviated plot explanations:

– The Shining: A family’s first Airbnb experience goes very wrong.

– The Lord of the Rings: Group spends nine hours returning jewelry.

– Titanic: Everyone tries the ice-bucket challenge.

– Beauty and the Beast: Stockholm syndrome works.

– The Chronicles of Narnia: Kid comes out of the closet.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! HAVE A GREAT MONDAY PEOPLE! Whatever
you do, don’t forget to LAFF IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman! 
DAILY QUOTES…

“Yale University’s being pushed to modify a poetry course because students have

complained that the content is too white. Students objected specifically to a poem
called ‘Ode to a Lost Prius in the Whole Foods Parking Lot.'” -Conan O’Brien

“The post office just can’t get its act together. They announced today they want to
raise the price of stamps so they can make an extra $2 billion. That is still better
than their original plan – uninvent the Internet.” -Jimmy Fallon

“A new study found that American workers lack the problem-solving skills that workers in other countries have. When American workers heard about the study they said, ‘So? What can we do about it?'” -Jimmy Kimmel  

 

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes…
When our client’s dog lapped up anti-freeze, the veterinarian I work for ordered a unique
treatment: an IV drip mixing fluids with vodka. “Go buy the cheapest bottle you can find,” he told me.
At the liquor store, I was uneasy buying cheap booze so early in the day, and I felt compelled to explain things to the clerk. “Believe it or not,” I said, “this is for a sick dog.”

As I was leaving, the next customer plunked down two bottles

of muscatel and announced, “These are for my cats.”😁😎
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???
“Wanna ride on my Segway?”

 

Answer: Paul Blart: Mall Cop!
Paul Blart is an overweight man whose wife died recently. He lives with his only daughter and his mother and he cannot seem to get a date, not even online. He finally meets someone at the mall named Amy, and he begins to fall in love with her. He asks her to ride on the Segway, in which she replies “Won’t you get in trouble?” Paul says “Yes, I could lose my job.” Of course, Amy still takes a ride on the Segway. 

 
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???

“Does Barry Manilow know that you raid his wardrobe?”

Friday’s Quizzer is…….

Some people’s names (such as “Will Power”) suggest a certain personality or career choice. Given below are some last names and professions (in no particular order). For each last name, your task is to think of a common first name, such that it suggests one of the given professions. Each last name and profession must be used just once.

Example: Sonny Day would suggest a meteorologist.
Last Names: Ball, King, Major, Mee, Soares, Turner
Professions: Paleontologist, Author, Musician, Plumber, Astrologer, Lawyer

The hint provides the first names.

Answer: Crystal Ball – Astrologer (crystal ball)
Dinah Soares – Paleontologist (dinosaurs)
Paige Turner – Author (page turner)
Dee Major – Musician (D Major)
Lee King – Plumber (leaking)
Sue Mee – Lawyer (sue me)
 

 

Monday’s Quizzer is…….
When you behead a word, you remove the first letter and still have a valid word. You will be given clues for the two words, longer word first.
Example: Begin -> Sour, acidic
Answer: The words are Start and Tart.

1. Time past -> Leave
2. Street -> Event location
3. Ends “Our Father” -> Fathers
4. Shared an opinion -> Excessive desire for something
5. Misuses; harms -> Multi-passenger vehicles
6. Pursue lofty goal -> Pointed tower top
7. Sum total -> Climb on
8. Stay away from -> A gap; empty

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
RECOMMENDED WEBSITE LINKS:

 

Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store. http://www.amazon.com

 

Posted In

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s