Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

 

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WELCOME to Tuesday February 12, 2019 
 
The Rules of Eating Chocolate.

1. If you’ve got melted chocolate all over your hands, you’re eating it too slowly.
2. Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices & strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.
3. The problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the store in a hot car.  The solution: Eat it in the parking lot.
4. Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It’ll take the edge off your appetite and you’ll eat less.
5. If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves.
6. If I eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate, is that a balanced diet? Don’t they actually counteract each other?
7. Money talks. Chocolate sings.
8. Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger.
9. Q: Why is there no such organization as Chocoholics Anonymous? A: Because no one wants to quit.
10. Put “eat chocolate” at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you’ll get one thing done.
11. A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Isn’t that handy?

12. If you can’t eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer. But if you can’t eat all your chocolate, what’s wrong with you?

 
Hey that’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman! 
 
 

DAILY QUOTES…

“The world’s most expensive Lego brick, made out of 14 karat gold, just sold online for $15,000. The new owner says he’s pleased to add it to his collection and it just got vacuumed up by his mom.” -Jimmy Fallon
“Advertisers paid more than $5 million for a 30-second Super Bowl commercial, which seems like too much money to remind us that avocados exist. Isn’t running an ad for avocados on Super Bowl Sunday too late? It’s the one day of the year we’re already eating avocados.” -Jimmy Kimmel
“A man ate 409 chicken wings to become champion of Philadelphia’s Wing Bowl over the weekend, which was unfortunately too many words to fit on his tombstone.” -Seth Meyers

 

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes…

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment.

Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.

Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, ‘Important; wake me at 5:00AM.’ He left it where he knew she would find it.

The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn’t wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.

The paper said, ‘It is 5:00AM. Wake up.’

Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests. 😱😳😎

 

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???

“What do you want to be married to me for, anyhow?”
“So I can kiss you anytime I want.”

Answer:  Sweet Home Alabama!
This exchange occurs twice in this movie with the same two characters both times, but their lines are reversed in the two scenes. “Sweet Home Alabama” tells the story of Melanie Smooter (Reese Witherspoon), who marries her Alabama sweetheart Jake Perry (Josh Lucas), but some time later starts divorce proceedings to dissolve the marriage. She moves from Alabama to New York City, uses the last name Carmichael, makes up untrue details about her past and tries to distance herself from her Alabama roots. After returning home to Alabama on a brief trip to iron out details for her impending marriage to handsome celebrity catch Andrew Hennings (Patrick Dempsey), she gradually realizes she really does love Jake best. In this scene (at the end of the movie) Melanie is embracing Jake on a beach in the rain after breaking off her marriage to Andrew Hennings at the last minute (the guests were already at the ceremony). She learned at the ceremony that she had never signed the divorce papers from her younger days’ marriage to Jake and now realizes she really does love him. He says line one, and she replies with line two.

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???  “Doo, I’m glad I make you proud, honey, but I can’t sing in front of people. I just can’t.”
“Yes you can, baby.”

 

Monday’s Quizzler is…… In this teaser you must place a 3-letter word on the dashes to complete a word on the left and to begin another word with those letters on the right.

Example:
e a r _ _ _ m e = e a r T H Y/ T H Y m e
1. f e a t _ _ _ o i c = ?
2. c o u r _ _ _ n d a = ?
3. d i s p _ _ _ o v e r = ?
4. k e e _ _ _ s i s t = ?

5. r u n _ _ _ i c e = ? 

Answer:  1. featHER / HERoic
2. courAGE / AGEnda
3. dispLAY / LAYover
4. keePER / PERsist
5. runOFF / OFFice

Tuesday’s Quizzler is…….

Three brothers share a family sport:

A non-stop marathon
The oldest one is fat and short
And trudges slowly on
The middle brother’s tall and slim
And keeps a steady pace
The youngest runs just like the wind,
Speeding through the race
“He’s young in years, we let him run,”
The other brothers say
“‘Cause though he’s surely number one,

He’s second, in a way.”

 

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

RECOMMENDED WEBSITE LINKS:

http://www.slampi.org, http://www.hopeBUILD.org, http://www.GodLovesPraise.com, https://elisabethluxe.com, http://www.themuscleministry.com,

CHECK OUT MY BOOK online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#,

Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store. http://www.amazon.com

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