Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

 

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WELCOME to Wednesday February 13, 2019 

Signs You’ve Grown Up

1. Your house plants are alive, and you can’t smoke any of them.
2. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.
5. You hear your favorite song on an elevator.
6. You watch the Weather Channel.
7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of hook up and break up.
8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.
9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as “dressed up.”
10. You’re the one calling the police because those darn kids next door won’t turn down the stereo.
11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
12. You don’t know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
13. Your car insurance goes down and your payments go up.
14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald’s leftovers.
15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
16. You no longer take naps from noon to 6 PM.
17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.
18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.
19. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer “pretty good stuff.”
20. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
21. “I just can’t drink the way I used to,” replaces,”I’m never going to drink that much again.”
22. You no longer drink at home to save money before going to a bar.
23. You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that this doesn’t apply to you.😎
 
Hey that’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Wednesday people and
whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman! 
 
 

DAILY QUOTES…

“The worst thing about Europe is that you can’t go out in

the middle of the night and get a Slurpee.”- Tellis Frank
“The trouble with being poor is that it takes up all of
your time.”- Willem de Kooning
“First you’re an unknown, then you write one book and you
move up to obscurity.”- Martin Myerscident.” -Jake Johannsen
“No matter how much money you make, you always need an extra
$40 a week. I’m sure it was Einstein who first stated: Exp-
ense equals salary plus forty bucks.” -Jeffrey Jena
“I fell in love once, and I thought she fell in love with me
too. Are you familiar with the situation? I sat with an en-
gagement ring, waiting for an answer. I was a single guy with
an engagement ring. It was like having a loaded gun laying
around the house. I was frightened I’d marry somebody by accident.

 

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes…

We had just finished eating a beautiful dinner that my mother
had prepared for our family. As I glanced up at the chandelier
over the table, I was mesmerized by the creative handiwork a
spider had woven around the prisms and lightbulbs. “Don’t look
up there!” my mother screamed. “It’s the one thing I was too
tired to clean!”   “Don’t look where?” my brother asked.
“There!” my mother pointed. “It’s my own personal web sight!”
😁
 

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???

“Doo, I’m glad I make you proud, honey, but I can’t sing in front of people. I just can’t.”
“Yes you can, baby.”

Answer: Coal Miner’s Daughter!
In this scene Doolittle “Doo” Lynn (Tommy Lee Jones) is in a ladies rest room trying to talk his young wife Loretta (Sissy Spacek) into singing on stage with the band in a honky tonk bar (she had fled there to escape Doo). Loretta had thought they were just going out socially together and this caught her by surprise (this was to be her first appearance singing in public). Doo really pushed Loretta into her singing career, where she became known as the unofficial “First Lady of Country Music.” The real Loretta Lynn handpicked Sissy Spacek to portray her on screen in this biopic of Loretta’s life. Both Sissy Spacek and Beverly D’Angelo (she plays county singer Patsy Cline) do all their own singing in this movie.

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “You are exceptionally odd.” “I bet you’re very popular with the girls.”

 

Tuesday’s Quizzler is……

Three brothers share a family sport: A non-stop marathon

The oldest one is fat and short
And trudges slowly on
The middle brother’s tall and slim
And keeps a steady pace
The youngest runs just like the wind,
Speeding through the race
“He’s young in years, we let him run,”
The other brothers say
“‘Cause though he’s surely number one,

He’s second, in a way.” 

 
Answer:  The hands on a clock (hour, minute, and second).

Wednesday’s Quizzler is…….

A man worked for a high-security institution, and one day he went in to work only to find that he could not log in to his computer terminal. His password wouldn’t work. Then he remembered that the passwords are reset every month for security purposes. So he went to his boss and they had this conversation:
Man-“Hey boss, my password is out of date.”
Boss-“Yes, that’s right. The password is different, but if you listen carefully you should be able to figure out the new one: It has the same amount of letters as your old password, but only four of the letters are the same.”
Man: “Thanks boss.”
With that, he went and correctly logged into his station.
What was the new password?
BONUS: What was his old password?
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

RECOMMENDED WEBSITE LINKS:

http://www.slampi.org, http://www.hopeBUILD.org, http://www.GodLovesPraise.com, https://elisabethluxe.com, http://www.themuscleministry.com,

CHECK OUT MY BOOK online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#,

Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store. http://www.amazon.com

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