Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to Wednesday February 20, 2019

Here’s the story…

Because of the reaction people have when they wake up and realize it’s a workday again and the weekend is over, the first day of the week is called Moanday.

Many people too busy to cook on the second day of the week just open a can of beans.

Hence the day is known as Tootsday.

By the third day of the week, people are wondering when they can ever find the time to get everything done this week that they need to, hence the day is known as Whensday.

Too bleary to even count properly, people think it’s only Day Three of the week on the next day, therefore it’s erroneously called Thirdsday.

On the last day of the workweek, people often go out “for a few” after work. By the time they get home, they’re too tired to cook anything elaborate, so they just throw a piece of meat, chicken, or fish in the skillet. That’s why the day is known as Fryday.

Saturday night all the singles let loose. There’s a lot of hijinks. It’s pretty obvious why

the day is called Satyrday.

And on the last day of the week–and the weekend–people look at all the items on their to-do lists that didn’t get crossed off, groan aloud, and make themselves promises they won’t keep. Therefore the day is called Soonday.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Wednesday people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAFF IT UP!

Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!

DAILY QUOTES…

“The United States is a nation of laws: badly written and randomly enforced.” – Frank Zappa

“It is better for civilization to be going down the drain than to be coming up it.” – Henry Allen

“The case has, in some respects, been not entirely devoid of interest.” – Sir Arthur Conan Doyle (Sherlock Holmes)

“He was the world’s only armless sculptor. He put the chisel in his mouth and his wife hit

him on the back of the head with a mallet” -Fred Allen

“I took a course in speed reading and was able to read ‘War and Peace’ in twenty

minutes. It’s about Russia.” -Woody Allen

“There are two kinds of people who never amount to much: those who cannot do what they are told, and those who can do nothing else.” -Cyrus Curtis

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes…

Signs In a clothing store: 1. “Wonderful bargains for men with 16 and 17 necks.” 2. In the window of an Oregon general store: “Why go elsewhere to be cheated, when you can come here?” 3. In a Pennsylvania cemetery:”Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own graves.” 4. On a Tennessee highway:”Take notice: when this sign is under water, this road is impassable.” 5. From the safety information card in America West Airline seat pocket: “If you are sitting in an exit row and can not read this card, please tell a crew member.” 6. On a Maine shop:”Our motto is to give our customers the lowest possible prices and workmanship.” 7. On a delicatessen wall:”Our best is none too good.” 😳

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???

“I guess now you wish you would’ve fed the rest of me to the dogs.”
“No, Mason, I much prefer you the way you are.”

Answer: Hannibal!
“Hannibal” was the first sequel to the 1991 hit “The Silence of the Lambs” and is not for the faint of heart! In this scene rich Mason Verger (Gary Oldman) has just described to Dr. Hannibal Lecter (played wonderfully again by Anthony Hopkins) his plans for getting revenge against Dr. Lecter. He had earlier been persuaded (while high on drugs) by Dr. Lecter to scrape off his face flesh with a piece of broken glass and feed it to dogs, leaving him with a horribly disfigured face. Dr. Lecter had been captured in Italy and was smuggled to Mason Verger’s home (strapped to an appliance dolly). Verger says line one and Dr. Lecter replies cooly with line two. “Hannibal” won several awards but no Oscars.

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “We pay our storytellers here.” “It’s lovely. But my stories are free and your present’s much too dear.”

Tuesday’s Quizzler is…… When you behead a word, you remove the first letter and still have a valid word. You will be given clues for the two words, longer word first.Example: Begin -> Sour, acidic Answer: The words are Start and Tart.

1. A trip through the air -> Illumination; not heavy
2. Travelling through the air -> Not telling the truth
3. True statement -> Part of a play; something done
4. Straightforward; blunt -> Position in a hierarchy
5. Cord for igniting an explosive -> To employ; exploit
6. An example of a number -> Belonging to us
7. To put in as much as possible -> Unwell; sick
8. High body temperature -> At any time; at all times

Answer: 1. Flight -> Light
2. Flying -> Lying
3. Fact -> Act
4. Frank -> Rank
5. Fuse -> Use
6. Four -> Our
7. Fill -> Ill
8. Fever -> Ever

Wednesday’s Quizzler is…….

Five women bought five different types of flowers for different reasons on different days.
Names: Julia, Amy, Bethany, Rachel, and Kristen
Flowers: Roses, Daisies, Lilies, Tulips, and Carnations
Colors: Purple, Yellow, Pink, White, and Peach
Places or Occasions: Backyard, Park, Office, Wedding, and Birthday
Days: Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday

1. The flowers were purchased in the following order: tulips, the flowers for the office, the purple flowers, the roses for the park, and the white flowers bought by Julia.

2. Bethany loves flowers but is allergic, so she would never have them indoors.

3. It rained on Wednesday and Friday, because of this, the wedding and birthday party had to be moved indoors.

4. Amy bought her flowers after Rachel, but before Kristen.

5. Rachel needed something more to add to her office, so she chose peach flowers to match her curtains.

6. On Wednesday the only purple flowers available at the flower shop were daisies.

7. The pink flowers were bought after the carnations, but before the lilies.

8. The flowers for the birthday were bought after the flowers for the office, but before the flowers for the wedding.

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

Share this:

Like this:

Related

Leave a Reply Cancel reply