* A fawn with a hornet? Bambee.
* A policeman with a telegram? Copper wire.
* A canary with a mole? A miner bird.
* A pig with a cactus? A porkerpine.
* A cat with a lemon? A sourpuss.
* A banana with a red silk dress? A pink slip.
* A chicken with a bell? An alarm cluck.
* A duck with a steamroller? A flat duck.
* An Eskimo with a pig? A polar boar.
* A spider with a rabbit? A hare net.
* A ham with a karate expert? Pork chops.
* An owl with a goat? A hootenanny.
* An Indian with a cow? Geronimoo.
* A tiger with a needle? Pin stripes.
* A termite with a house? An exterminator.
* A dove with a high chair? A stool pigeon.
* A tree with a baseball player? Babe Root.
* A parrot with a centipede? A walkie-talkie.
* A rabbit with a kilt? Hopscotch.
* A dog with a daisy? A collie-flower.
* A hummingbird with a doorbell? A humdinger.
* The Green Giant with Robin Hood? A Hoe-Bow.
* The Atlantic Ocean with the Titanic? Halfway.
* A movie with a swimming pool? A dive-in theater.
* A potato with an onion? A potato with watery eyes.
* A dog with a chicken? A hen that lays pooched eggs.
* A vulture with a small grass house? A scavenger hut.
* A kangaroo with a sheep? A wooly jumper.
* A gorilla and a sheep? A very nice wool coat, except the
sleeves are too long.
and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through
a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money.” – Mark Twain
“One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is
the belief that one’s work is terribly important.” –Bertrand Russell
On duty as a customer-service rep for a car-rental company,
I took a call from a driver who needed a tow. He was
stranded on a busy highway, but he didn’t know the make of
the car he was driving. I asked again for a more detailed
description beyond a “blue, four-door sedan.”
“It’s the one on fire,” he replied.
“My ten year old daughter asked me what a colon was and I
explained that it was a part of the body that food goes
through before being eliminated. Then she asked me what a
semicolon was and I told her that it was a colon the size
of a truck with eighteen wheels.” 😱😳😎
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes…
you wanted a day off?
You ring up Jesus and say, “Jesus, I’m sick today, running a
little fever and feeling congested so I won’t be able to make
it to today’s sermon. What…? Say that again..?” I’m cured?” 😎
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???
“It’s lovely. But my stories are free and your present’s much too dear.”
Answer: Out of Africa!
In this scene Danish Baroness Karen Blixen (Meryl Streep) is saying goodbye to her friend and eventual lover, adventurer Denys Finch-Hatton (Robert Redford). At dinner the evening before, she had completed a made-up story started by Denys. He says line one and Karen replies with line two. This movie tells the true story of Karen (who wrote under the pseudonym of Isak Dinesen). She had gone to British East Africa (now called Kenya) in 1913 to be married to her Swedish friend Bror (Klaus Maria Brandauer), but it was a marriage of convenience and she grew to love Denys.
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “But if he is to die, then let him die and decrease the surplus population.”
“You use my own words against me.”
Wednesday’s Quizzler is……Five women bought five different types of flowers for different reasons on different days.
Flowers: Roses, Daisies, Lilies, Tulips, and Carnations
Colors: Purple, Yellow, Pink, White, and Peach
Places or Occasions: Backyard, Park, Office, Wedding, and Birthday
Days: Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday
1. The flowers were purchased in the following order: tulips, the flowers for the office, the
2. Bethany loves flowers but is allergic, so she would never have them indoors.
3. It rained on Wednesday and Friday, because of this, the wedding and birthday party had to be moved indoors.
4. Amy bought her flowers after Rachel, but before Kristen.
5. Rachel needed something more to add to her office, so she chose peach flowers to match her curtains.
6. On Wednesday the only purple flowers available at the flower shop were daisies.
7. The pink flowers were bought after the carnations, but before the lilies.
8. The flowers for the birthday were bought after the flowers for the office, but before the flowers for the wedding.
Amy: Daisies, Purple, Birthday, Wednesday
Bethany: Tulips, Yellow, Backyard, Monday
Rachel: Carnations, Peach, Office, Tuesday
Kristen: Roses, Pink, Park, Thursday
Thursday’s Quizzler is…….
Example: di____ve (a defeat)
Answer: dissolve (“A defeat” gives you LOSS, which is placed backwards in the blank: di_SSOL_ve.)
1. dis____s (horse movement)
2. mi____ce (high mountains)
3. l____ion (a Mexican food)
4. s____ing (food skin)
RECOMMENDED WEBSITE LINKS:
Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store. http://www.amazon.com