Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to Friday February 22, 2019

Doesn’t It Annoy You When…
1. There’s a car alarm nearby that goes on for hours and the owner is nowhere to be found?

2. You buy an answering machine so you won’t miss any calls, and then everyone hangs up when they hear the machine answer?

3. There’s a cop car in sight and everyone thinks they have to drive 10-15 mph slower than the speed limit?

4. You’re reading a magazine and all those annoying little subscription cards keep falling out?

5. You tell someone that a door is locked and they try to open it anyway, like it’ll magically open for them and not you. (dork!)

6. Someone says, “well, to make a long story short” and then they go on telling it for another 15 minutes.

7. A friend or family member says “Yuck! This is awful!!” and then tells you to try some.

8. You have to inform five different sales people in the same store that you’re just looking around.

9. You rub on hand cream and can’t turn the bathroom doorknob to get out.

10. The dog in your neighborhood that barks at EVERYTHING.

11. When somebody counts to 16 and they always miss one number? Like wheres 15 at?

12. The power goes out, and you discover every flashlight you have has dead batteries, and your cellphone is not charged.

13. Someone gets in the express lane at the supermarket and writes a check.

14. The elevator stops at every floor and nobody gets on.

16. You almost ALWAYS back up your computer files but the week you don’t, your hard drive crashes and you lose everything.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great weekend people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAFF IT UP!

Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!

DAILY QUOTES…

“What happens when the future has come and gone?”

– Robert Half

“We are here on Earth to do good to others. What the

others are here for, I don’t know.”- W. H. Auden

“So much of what we call management consists in making

it difficult for people to work.”- Peter Drucker

“I get those maternal feelings sometimes, like when I’m lying

on the couch and can’t reach the remote, I think, ‘Boy, a kid

would be nice right now.'” –Kathleen Madigan

“When I realized that what I had turned out to be was a

lousy, two-bit pool hustler and drunk, I wasn’t depressed

at all. I was glad to have a profession.” -Danny McGoorty

“My father refused to spend money on me as a kid. One time I

broke my arm playing football and my father tried to get a

free X-ray by taking me down to the airport and making me lie

down with the luggage.” –Glen Super

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes…

A rancher goes to the bank to borrow money to buy a bull so
he can increase his stock. The transaction is made and the
banker who lent the money comes by a week later to see how
his investment is doing. The farmer complains that the bull
just eats grass and won’t even look at the cows. The banker
suggests that a veterinarian have a look at the bull.

The next week the banker returns to see if the vet helped.
The farmer looks very pleased: “The bull has taken care of
all my cows, broke through the fence, and has even serviced
all my neighbor’s cows!”
“Wow,” says the banker, “what did the vet do to that bull?”
“Just gave him some pills,” replied the farmer.
“What kind of pills?” asked the banker.
“I don’t know, but they sort of taste like peppermint.” 😳😎

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???

“But if he is to die, then let him die and decrease the surplus population.”
“You use my own words against me.”

Answer: A Christmas Carol!
In this scene Ebenezer Scrooge (George C. Scott) and the Ghost of Christmas Present (Edward Woodward) are observing (both unseen and unheard) the Christmas dinner of the Bob Cratchit family. When Scrooge asks if their crippled son Tiny Tim will get better, the Ghost says he sees an empty space at the table in the future and mockingly adds line one. Scrooge winces and replies with line two, remembering his words to solicitors seeking aid for the poor. This wonderful holiday movie is based on a classic short story by English author Charles Dickens. A miserly old man, who considers Christmas humbug, is taught the true meaning and spirit of the season by three ghosts who show him his own past and present and what the future holds for him if he doesn’t change his ways. There have been numerous versions of this movie made over the years. My favorite (of the ones I’ve seen) is this one (with George C. Scott as Scrooge).

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???

“___________, only two kinds of creatures get fun in the desert: Bedouins and gods, and you’re neither. Take it from me, for ordinary men it’s a burning, fiery furnace.” “No, Dryden, it’s going to be fun.”

Thursday’s Quizzler is…… Based on the clue in parentheses, find a four-letter word that can be inserted backwards into the blank to complete a longer word.

Example: di____ve (a defeat)
Answer: dissolve (“A defeat” gives you LOSS, which is placed backwards in the blank: di_SSOL_ve.)

1. dis____s (horse movement)
2. mi____ce (high mountains)
3. l____ion (a Mexican food)
4. s____ing (food skin)

Answer: 1. distorts (TROT – dis_TORT_s)
2. misplace (ALPS – mi_SPLA_ce)
3. location (TACO – l_OCAT_ion)
4. sleeping (PEEL – s_LEEP_ing)

Friday’s Quizzler is…….

Each of the clues make up a type of flower, for example “small container + to allow” would be “vial + let”, or “violet.”

Can you figure out these five?

1. an implement + flesh around mouth
2. foppish + a large carnivorous wildcat
3. to wed + a soft yellow element
4. a false statement + be deficient in
5. indicates an alternative + child

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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