The Down Side of Cubicles:
* Being told to “Think outside the box” when I’m in the box all day.
* Not being able to check E-mail attachments without first seeing who is behind me.
* Fabric cubicle walls do not offer much protection from any kind of gunfire.
* That nagging feeling that if I press the right button, I will get a piece of cheese.
* Lack of rafters for the noose.
* My walls are too close together for my hammock to work right.
* Women: Damned near impossible to adjust your bra without comment.
* Men: Co-workers tend to stare when you take your pants off.
* 35 power cords, 1 outlet.
* Prison cells are not only bigger, they have beds and TV’s.
* When tours come thru, I get lots of peanuts thrown at me.
* Can’t slam the door when you quit and walk out.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Mothers Day weekend people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAFF IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
“In Philadelphia, police are looking for a man who robbed a Dunkin’ Donuts, and was caughton a surveillance camera doing some stretches in the parking lot just beforehand. Police areon the lookout for the only health-conscious person to ever enter a Dunkin’ Donuts.” -Conan O’Brien
“According to a new study, 88 percent of Facebook users have admitted to spending some timelooking at their ex’s profile. While the other 12 percent have admitted to spending ALL of their time looking at their ex’s profile.” -Jimmy Fallon
“Did you give the prisoner the third degree?” the police captain asked the detective.
“Yeah, we browbeat him pretty good,” nodded the other. “Asked him every question and made every threat we could think of.”
“And did you get a confession?” asked the sergeant.
“Not exactly,” explained the officer. “All he’d say was, ‘Yes dear,’ and dozed off.” 😱😎
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? “What’s the T-shirt say?”
“I am a bomb technician. If you see me running, try to catch up.”
Answer: The Sum of All Fears
In this scene U.S. CIA director Bill Cabot (Morgan Freeman) and his assistant Jack Ryan (Ben Affleck) are inspecting a Russian factory where nuclear bombs are being decommissioned. Cabot sees one worker with a T-shirt that has writing in Russian on it. He asks one of his Russian hosts for a translation with the first line and the host replies with the second. Affleck is the third actor who has played the character of Jack Ryan in movies made from Tom Clancy stories. The first two were Alec Baldwin in “The Hunt for Red October” (1990), Harrison Ford in “Clear and Present Danger” (1994), and Harrison Ford in “Patriot Games” (1992).
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “Yes – it wasn’t logical.” “You were a TOMATO. A tomato doesn’t have logic! A tomato can’t move!”
Thursday’s Quizzler is….
I have one, you have one.
If you remove the first letter, a bit remains.
If you remove the second, bit still remains.
After much trying, you might be able to remove the third one also, but it remains.
It dies hard!
Remove h – a bit remains.
Remove a – bit remains.
Remove b – it remains.
Friday’s Quizzler is…….
Some phrases refer to two different body parts (mix), others use the same body part twice (match).
Example: The law of retaliation. Answer: An eye for an eye.
1. To be in agreement
2. A couple strolling
3. Suddenly in love
4. Intimate discussion
5. Very expensive
6. Done at a ballroom
7. Poor, nothing extra
Bonus: The title of this children’s action song mentions four different body parts.
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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