Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to Friday March 13, 2020
Think About This. Just Some Things I’ve Learned…Author Unknown
I’ve learned that you can get by on charm for about 15 minutes.
After that, you’d better know something.
I’ve learned that you shouldn’t compare yourself to the best
others can do, but to the best you can do.
I’ve learned that it’s not what happens to people that’s
important. It’s what they do about it.
I’ve learned that you can do something in an instant
that will give you a heartache for life.
I’ve learned that no matter how thin you slice it, there are always two sides.
I’ve learned that it’s a lot easier to react than it is to think.
I’ve learned that you should always leave loved ones with loving words.
I’ve learned that you can keep going long after you think you can’t.
I’ve learned that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.
I’ve learned that either you control your attitude or it controls you.
I’ve learned that when the light turns green, you had
better look both ways before proceeding.
I’ve learned that there are people who love you dearly,
but just don’t know how to show it.
I’ve learned that my best friend and I can do anything or
nothing and still have the best time.
I’ve learned that true friendship continues to
grow, even over the longest distance.

I’ve learned that you should never tell a child his dreams are unlikely or outlandish.

Few things are more humiliating, and what a tragedy it would be if he believed it.
Hey I’m just saying! That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a
great weekend people and whatever you do, don’t forget 
to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman!
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Quotes of the Day 
 
“Warner Brothers announced that it wants to remake ‘The Wizard of Oz.’ This version is going to be totally updated for 2020. For instance, each of the flying monkeys has to
be patted down and go through a body scanner before they can take off.” -Jimmy Fallon
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“In a survey of 35 cities, Los Angeles ranked second-to-last in intelligence. Residents of L.A. were outraged after the report was slowly explained to them.” -Conan O’Brien
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“Police in San Diego are looking for a 78-year-old bank robber they have nicknamed the
‘Geezer Bandit.’ Victims of the Geezer Bandit’s last robbery say he threatened to tell

them stories of his grandkids.” -Craig Ferguson

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Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes….
Once I came upon this pretty new temp standing in front of the paper shredder with a
confused look on her face. I asked if she needed any help and she said, “Yeah, how does
 this thing work ?” I took the papers from her hand and demonstrated how to work the
shredder. She stood there a moment with yet another confused expression, so I said,
“Any questions ?” She said, “Yeah, exactly where do the copies come out from ?” 😱
 
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Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ” 
 “Mr. Spade, have you any conception of how much money can be got for that black bird?”
Answer:  The Maltese Falcon!

All of the films mentioned are Humphrey Bogart films, but only “The Maltese Falcon” is the one in which Bogart plays Sam Spade, private detective, trying to find the elusive sculpture that is the black bird of the title of the film. Spade’s partner had been murdered early in the movie, and it is somehow related to the quest for the valuable item. The plot takes many twists and turns, with people betraying each other right and left. This quote comes from a scene where Kaspar Gutman, played by Sydney Greenstreet, is trying to enlist Spade’s assistance in locating the bird. This is one black-and-white classic that is well worth a view!
 
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
 “I am big. It’s the movies that got small.”
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Thursday’s Quizzler is….​
 There are five people. One of them shot and killed one of the other five. Which man is the murderer?

1. Dan ran in the NY City marathon yesterday with one of the innocent men.
2. Mike considered being a farmer before he moved to the city.
3. Jeff is a topnotch computer consultant and wants to install Ben’s new computer next week.
4. The murderer had his leg amputated last month.
5. Ben met Jack for the first time six months ago.
6. Jack has been in seclusion since the crime.
7. Dan used to drink heavily.
8. Ben and Jeff built their last computers together.

9. The murderer is Jack’s brother. They grew up together in Seattle.

Answer:  1. Jack is not the murderer, because he is the brother of the murderer. 2. Dan can’t be the murderer since he ran a marathon, and the murderer recently had his leg amputated, and wouldn’t be running a marathon of any magnitude that quickly. 3. Ben is not the murderer if he just met Jack, since Jack and the murderer grew up together. 4. This leaves Jeff and Mike. Since Jeff is still alive (he wants to install a new computer next week, present tense) he must be the murderer. Mike also didn’t grow up with Jack. It has been determined that Jack, Dan and Jeff are all alive. Ben must also be alive since Jeff plans to install Ben’s computer next week. This means that Jeff killed Mike.
 
 
 
 
Friday’s Quizzler is…….
The following are humorous quotes from famous people in history.

Can you match the quotes in Part 1 with the person who said it in Part 2? Good luck!
Part 1:
1. “Common looking people are the best in the world: that is the reason the Lord makes so many of them.”
2. “I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down at us. Pigs treat us as equals.”
3. “Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT’S relativity.”
4. “A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read.”
5. “Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip.”
6. “God heals and the doctor takes the fee.”
Part 2:
Albert Einstein.
Will Rogers.
Abraham Lincoln.
Benjamin Franklin.
Winston Churchill.
Mark Twain.
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
RECOMMENDED WEBSITE LINKS:
CHECK THIS BOOK OUT online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#, Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store. http://www.amazon.com
 

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