WELCOME to Thursday March 12, 2020
Didn’t you ever wonder….
How did a fool and his money get together?
Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift?
Why is it that when you’re driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?
How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?
If it’s tourist season, why can’t we shoot them?
Why is abbreviation such a long word?
What do they use to ship styrofoam?
Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Hey I’m just saying! That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a
great Thursday people and whatever you do, don’t forget
to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman!
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Quotes of the Day
“Climate change could eventually wipe out crops like strawberries and grapes.
Even worse, that means edible arrangements will soon be 100 percent cantaloupe.” -Jimmy Fallon
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“In honor of International Women’s Day, McDonald’s is flipping its golden arches
to resemble a W instead of an M. And we can’t even show you what they did over at Hooters.” -Seth Meyers
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“Apple’s new futuristic headquarters, Apple Park in Cupertino, California, is having
some problems. The building is filled with so much clear glass that employees have
reportedly been walking into glass walls. I guess Apple shouldn’t have installed windows.” -James Corden
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Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes….
I’ve never understood why women love cats. Cats are independent, they don’t listen, they don’t come in when you call, they like to stay out all night, and when they’re home they like to be left alone and sleep. In other words, every quality that women hate in a man, they love in a cat.😳😁😎
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Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ”
“Pepperland is a tickle of joy on the blue belly of the universe. It must be scratched”?
Answer: Yellow Submarine!
The quote does indeed come from the Beatles’ crazy animated romp, “Yellow Submarine”, in which John, Paul, George and Ringo agree to go to Pepperland in a Yellow Submarine to help the citizens fight off an attack on their lifestyle and homeland by the Blue Meanies. The leader of the Meanies is the one who says the quote from this question, showing his intolerance of anything joyful and fun. Of course the Fab Four have to come to the rescue.
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“Mr. Spade, have you any conception of how much money can be got for that black bird?”
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Wednesday’s Quizzler is….
Victor the Viking lived in a distant land inhabited by dragons and sea monsters.
The dragon population later became a threat to the kingdom. The King, who married Victor’s sister and made her his queen, announced a contest. The warrior who could kill the most number of dragons from sunrise to sunset of next Sunday would be declared winner and marry the King’s only daughter.
On the eve of the contest, Gringo the Gorgeous, first born of and heir to the King, slept early to conserve his energy with his sharpened ax beside him.
Victor the Viking, who almost forgot his ax and shield, rode his black gelding into the forbidden forest and camped there overnight to gain a headstart.
Abner the Able spent the night in his house sharpening his spatha and polishing his bronze shield. he had his squire prepare his stallion for the contest.
Brav the Bold woke up very late the morning of the contest and had to ride his horse like crazy to catch up with the others.
Igor the Terrible, the only warrior who used two weapons was able to kill 4 dragons with his ax and 5 dragons with his spear.
At the wedding dinner hosted by the king later that evening, the winner, who killed more than a half dozen dragons with his ax, and his proud parents were honored by the King.
The winner’s horse was castrated and retired from duty. The winner’s bronze shield was permanently displayed in the King’s Hall.
Who won the contest?
Answer: Brav the Bold won the contest. (by process of elimination)
Gringo the Gorgeous, first born of the king, could not be the winner because the winner was not the king’s son. The winner and his parents were honored by the King.
Abner the Able, whose only weapon was a spatha( a sword) could not be the winner because the winner used an ax to kill dragons. Only Igor used two weapons.
Igor the Terrible, who killed only 4 dragons with his ax (and 5 dragons with his spear), could not be the winner because the winner killed more than a half dozen dragons with his ax.
Victor the Viking, whose horse was a gelding(castrated horse), could not be the winner because the winner’s horse was castrated after the contest.
Brav the Bold must have killed at least 10 dragons because Igor killed a total of 9. More than a half dozen means a number greater than 6, including 10.
Thursday’s Quizzler is…….
There are five people. One of them shot and killed one of the other five. Which man is the murderer?
1. Dan ran in the NY City marathon yesterday with one of the innocent men.
2. Mike considered being a farmer before he moved to the city.
3. Jeff is a topnotch computer consultant and wants to install Ben’s new computer next week.
4. The murderer had his leg amputated last month.
5. Ben met Jack for the first time six months ago.
6. Jack has been in seclusion since the crime.
7. Dan used to drink heavily.
8. Ben and Jeff built their last computers together.
9. The murderer is Jack’s brother. They grew up together in Seattle.
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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