Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to MONDAY MAY 11, 2020
 
Thinking Out Loud…….. 
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.

It’s always darkest before dawn. So if you’re going to steal the neighbor’s newspaper, that’s the time to do it.
Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
If you tell the truth you don’t have to remember anything.
If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again; it was probably worth it.
Some days you are the bug, some days you are the windshield.
If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.
Never ask a barber if he thinks you need a haircut.
“To the world you might be one person, but to one person you might be the world.”
Going to church does not make you a Christian anymore than going to McDonald’s makes you a hamburger.”
A coincidence is when God performs a miracle, and decides to remain anonymous.”
Sometimes the majority only means that all the fools are on the same side.”
“Life is like an onion; you peel off one layer at a time and sometimes you weep.”
“Learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t live long enough to make them all yourself.”
“Following the path of least resistance is what makes rivers and men crooked.”

“Life is 10% of what happens to you, and 90% of how you respond to it.”

Hey I’m just saying. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT MONDAY people, stay inside, stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up!
Peace, I am outta here! Eucman!
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Quotes of the Day 
“There is no expedient to which a man will
not go to avoid the labor of thinking.” – Thomas A. Edison

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“In three words I can sum up everything
 I’ve learned about life: it goes on.” – Robert Frost
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“I have such poor vision I can

date anybody.” – Garry Shandling
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Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes….
Confucius Says:
Man who wants pretty nurse, must be patient.

Man who leap off cliff jump to conclusion.
Man who love and loses, have not right lawyer.
When lady say `no´ she mean `perhaps´ when she say `perhaps´
she mean `yes´ but when she say `yes´, she not a lady.
Man who run in front of car get tired.
Man who run behind car get exhausted.
When man 60 marry girl 25, like buying book for someone else to read.

Man who pushes piano down mine shaft get A flat miner. 

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Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ” 
“Does Barry Manilow know you raid his wardrobe?”

Answer:   The Breakfast Club!

John Bender (Judd Nelson) and Richard Vernon (Paul Gleason) have some history between them and, at best, it could be described as antagonistic. Vernon responds to Bender’s quip with by stating “You’ll get the answer to that question, Mr Bender, next Saturday”. Needless to say, the situation escalates rather quickly and in a short space of time Bender is being threatened with a lifetime of detention.
 
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people. I’ve known sheep who could outwit you.
I’ve worn dresses with higher IQs, but you think you’re an intellectual, don’t you, ape?”
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Friday’s Quizzler is….​
What is unusual about this following long sentence?

Dennis, Nell, Edna, Leon, Nedra, Anita, Rolf, Nora, Alice, Carol, Leo, Jane, Reed, Dena, Dale, Basil, Rae, Penny, Lana, Dave, Denny, Lena, Ida, Bernadette, Ben, Ray, Lila, Nina, Jo, Ira, Mara, Sara, Mario, Jan, Ina, Lily, Arne, Bette, Dan, Reba, Diane, Lynn, Ed, Eva, Dana, Lynne, Pearl, Isabel, Ada, Ned, Dee, Rena, Joel, Lora, Cecil, Aaron, Flora, Tina, Arden, Noel and Ellen sinned.
 
Answer: It is one long palindrome!
A palindrome is something that can be read the same backwards and forwards.
 
Monday’s Quizzler is…….
​Starting with a one-letter word or abbreviation, add a letter and rearrange the letters to produce the next. A clue is given for each.

Maybe your car does 0 to 60 in 10 sec., but can you do this “0 to 10” in 60 sec.? Go on – get out the stopwatch!
The hint provides the starting letters of the even numbered words.
1. Ford model, known as “Tin Lizzie”
2. @
3. Traitor (slang)
4. Not before the horse, please!
5. Track down; discover
6. Collected by bees
7. Convinced, beyond any doubt
8. Completed in 6 days, according to Genesis
9. “Ashes to ashes”

10. Power and authority; significance

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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