Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to TUESDAY JULY 14, 2020
 I’ve Learned… 
I’ve learned that you can get by on charm for about 15 minutes. After that, you’d better know something.
I’ve learned that you shouldn’t compare yourself to the best others can do, but to the best you can do.
I’ve learned that it’s not what happens to people that’s important. It’s what they do about it.
I’ve learned that you can do something in an instant that will give you a heartache for life.
I’ve learned that no matter how thin you slice it, there are always two sides.
I’ve learned that it’s a lot easier to react than it is to think.
I’ve learned that you should always leave loved ones with loving words.
I’ve learned that you can keep going long after you think you can’t.
I’ve learned that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.
I’ve learned that either you control your attitude or it controls you.
I’ve learned that when the light turns green, you had better look both ways before proceeding.
I’ve learned that there are people who love you dearly, but just don’t know how to show it.
I’ve learned that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and still have the best time.
I’ve learned that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance.

I’ve learned that you should never tell a child his dreams are unlikely or outlandish. Few things are more humiliating, and what a tragedy it would be if he believed it.

Hey I’m just saying. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a HAPPY
TUESDAY people, stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up!
Peace, I am outta here! Eucman!
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Quotes of the Day 
 
“A thief broke into a house in Alaska and found $100,000 but only took $20,000.
Police are searching for a man with simple dreams.” -Conan O’Brien

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“NASA launched a missile at the moon to determine if there’s water. Well, they found about 25 gallons — 25 gallons! The project cost $79 million. You thought bottled water was expensive.” -David Letterman
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“What we call ‘Progress’ is the exchange of one nuisance for another nuisance.” – Havelock Ellis
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“Better by far you should forget and smile than you should remember and be sad.” – Christina Rossetti
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Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes….
Once I came upon this pretty new temp standing in front of the paper shredder with a confused look on her face. I asked if she needed any help and she said, “Yeah, how does this thing work ?” I took the papers from her hand and demonstrated how to work the shredder. She stood there a moment with yet another confused expression, so I said, “Any questions ?” She said, “Yeah, exactly where do the copies come out from ?”😱
 
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Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ” 
 “I don’t have to show you any stinkin’ badges.”

Answer:  ‘The Treasure of the Sierra Madre’

Humphrey Bogart made ‘The Treasure of the Sierra Madre’ in 1948. He and two other men go into the hills of Mexico to mine gold. They are approached by a band of banditos claiming to be Mexican Federales. When Bogart’s character asks to see their badges, a classic quote is born. ‘Badges? We ain’t got no badges. We don’t need no badges! I don’t have to show you any stinkin’ badges!’ is the entire quote from the Bogart movie. ‘Blazing Saddles’ repeated a shortened version of this quote, and it shows up in some form or other in many movies, music, videos, etc.
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from????
“There are inmates and there are convicts. A convict has a certain code. And he knows to show a certain respect. An inmate, on the other hand, pulls the pin on his fellow man. Does the guard’s work for them. Brings shame to the game. So, which are you gonna be?”
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Monday’s Quizzler is….​
Mice are famous for their ability to multiply at breakneck speeds. The type of mouse we have here gives birth once a month, birthing 12 babies each time. Baby mice mature and can give birth two months after they are born.

You picked up one of these cute baby mice at the pet shop and brought it home the day after it was born. In 10 months from now, how many mice will you have?

Answer:  One. The mouse cannot birth any babies by itself.

 
 
 
Tuesday’s Quizzler is…….
A dagger thrust at my own heart
Dictates the way I’m swayed
Left I stand, and right I yield
To the twisting of the blade.
What am I?
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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