Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to FRIDAY NOVEMBER 20, 2020

Feline Physics Laws…….

Law of Cat Inertia
A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some outside force – such as the opening of cat food, or a nearby scurrying mouse.

Law of Cat Motion
A cat will move in a straight line, unless there is a really good reason to change direction.

Law of Cat Magnetism
All blue blazers and black sweaters attract cat hair in direct proportion to the darkness of the fabric.

Law of Cat Thermodynamics
Heat flows from a warmer to a cooler body, except in the case of a cat, in which case all heat flows to the cat.

Law of Cat Stretching
A cat will stretch to a distance proportional to the length of the nap just taken.

Law of Cat Sleeping
All cats must sleep with people whenever possible, in a position as uncomfortable for the people involved, and as comfortable as possible for the cat.

Law of Cat Elongation
A cat can make her body long enough to reach just about any counter top that has anything remotely interesting on it.

Law of Cat Obstruction
A cat must lay on the floor in such a position to obstruct the maximum amount of human foot traffic.

Law of Cat Acceleration
A cat will accelerate at a constant rate, until he gets good and ready to stop.

Law of Dinner Table Attendance
Cats must attend all meals when anything good is served.

Law of Rug Configuration
No rug may remain in its naturally flat state for very long.

Law of Obedience Resistance
A cat’s resistance varies in proportion to a human’s desire for her to do something.

First Law of Energy Conservation
Cats know that energy can neither be created nor destroyed and will, therefore, use as little energy as possible.

Second Law of Energy Conservation
Cats also know that energy can only be stored by a lot of napping.

Hey I’m just saying. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a WONDERFUL
WEEKEND people, stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up!
Peace, I am outta here! Eucman!

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“There are a terrible lot of lies going
around the world, and the worst of it
is half of them are true.” – Sir Winston Churchill

“The human race has one really
effective weapon, and that is laughter.” Mark Twain

“Recommend to your children virtue;
that alone can make them happy, not gold.” Ludwig van Beethoven

“Tuesday was the summer solstice.
It’s the longest day of the year, if you
don’t count Thanksgiving with your family.” -David Letterman

G u a r a n t e e d t o R o l l Y o u r E y e s!
A carpet layer had just finished installing carpet for a lady. He stepped out
for a smoke, only to realize he’d lost his cigarettes. In the middle of the room,
under the carpet, was a bump. ”No sense pulling up the entire floor for one
pack of smokes,” he said to himself. He proceeded to get out his hammer
and flattened the hump. As he was cleaning up, the lady came in. ”Here,”
she said, handling him his pack of cigarettes. ”I found them in the hallway.”
”Now,” she said, ”if only I could find my parakeet.” 😱😳😁😎

Thursdays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“It’s not the years, honey. It’s the mileage.”

Answer: Raiders of the Lost Ark
“Raiders of the Lost Ark”, released in 1981, was the first film in the “Indiana Jones” franchise. Set in 1936, Harrison Ford played Dr. Jones, an archeologist hired to find the Ark of the Covenant before it ended up in the hands of the Nazis. When his love interest Marion Ravenwood says, “You’re not the man I knew ten years ago”, Indiana Jones responds as only Indiana Jones can. “Raiders of the Lost Ark” was a huge commercial and critical success. It was the highest grossing film of 1981, and went on to win 5 Academy Awards.

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from????
“Think ya used enough dynamite there, Butch? “

Thursday’s Quizzler is….​
Four friends decided to plant a new tree in their yard to celebrate Labor Day. The new trees would each be put in a different area of their yards. As it happened each friend bought a different kind of tree and planted the new tree on a different day of the week. From the clues below, determine the full names of each friend, what kind of tree each bought, where in the yard it was planted, and on what day of the week each tree was planted.

Names: Rebbecca, Sally, Tracy, and Wanda

Last Name: Best, Dart, Frost, and Grand

Trees: ash tree, cherry tree, maple tree, and spruce tree

Location: garden, patio, back yard, and front yard

Days of the Week: Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday

  1. Wanda, whose last name wasn’t Frost, didn’t plant her spruce tree by the patio.
  2. Tracy planted her tree before Mrs. Dart but after the woman who planted the ash tree.
  3. Mrs. Best, whose first name wasn’t Sally, planted her tree in the front yard, but not on Friday.
  4. Rebbecca didn’t plant her tree on Monday.
  5. Mrs. Grand planted her tree before the woman who planted her tree in the back yard. Rebbecca didn’t plant the cherry tree.
  6. The trees were planted, in chronological order, as follows: Mrs. Frost, in the garden, Wanda, the maple tree.

Answer: Rebbecca Dart: maple tree, backyard, Friday
Sally Frost: ash tree, patio, Monday
Tracy Grand: cherry tree, garden, Wednesday
Wanda Best: spruce tree, front yard, Thursday

Friday’s Quizzler is…….
Diana has been writing poetry for many years and is excited that her first published book of poems will be coming out next year. Her publisher has asked her to write introductions for her poems. From the information given below, can you determine the year each poem was written (1996, 1999, 2001, 2004, or 2009), the occasion or person it was written for, and the style of poetry used (haiku, ode, sonnet, elegy, or free verse)?

  1. “The Tree” was either the earliest poem written or the most recent. The wedding poem was either an ode or a free verse poem. “Dancer” is a haiku but was not written for the contest that took place in the 1990s.
  2. “Summer Harvest” was written for a family member. “Queen Anne” was inspired by a television show about British royalty and was not written in free verse.
  3. The five poems, in no particular order, are: “Confidential”, the free verse poem written in 1996, the sonnet, the poem written for her sister, and the poem written for her mother.
  4. The poem written for a friend’s wedding was written before the sonnet but three years after the haiku.
  5. The poem written in 1999 was written for her mother’s funeral. The ode was not written for her sister nor was it inspired by the television show.

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

RECOMMENDED WEBSITE LINKS:
http://www.slampi.org, https://elisabethluxe.com, http://www.themuscleministry.com.

CHECK THIS BOOK OUT online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#, Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store.

​ ​

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s