Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to WEDNESDAY DECEMBER 23, 2020

Dictionary…….
Argument (ar*gyou*ment) n. A discussion that occurs when you’re right, but he just hasn’t realized it yet.
Airhead (er*hed) n. What a woman intentionally becomes when pulled over by a policeman.
Bar-be-que (bar*bi*q) n. You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat and cleaned everything up, but, he, “made the dinner.”
Blonde jokes (blond joks) n. Jokes that are short so men can understand them.
Cantaloupe (kant*e*lope) n. Gotta get married in a church.
Clothes dryer (kloze dri*yer) n. An appliance designed to eat socks.
Diet Soda (dy*it so*da) n. A drink you buy at a convenience store to go with a half-pound bag of peanut M&Ms.
Eternity (e*ter*ni*tee) n. The last two minutes of a football game.
Exercise (ex*er*siz) v. To walk up and down a mall, occasionally resting to make a purchase.
Grocery List (grow*ser*ee list) n. What you spend half an hour writing, then forget to take with you to the store.
Hair Dresser (hare dres*er) n. Someone who is able to create a style you will never be able to duplicate again. See “Magician.”
Hardware Store (hard*war stor) n. Similar to a black hole in space-if he goes in, he isn’t coming out anytime soon.
Childbirth (child*brth) n. You get to go through 36 hours of contractions; he gets to hold your hand and say “focus,…breath…push…”
Lipstick (lip*stik) n. On your lips, coloring to enhance the beauty of your mouth. On his collar, coloring only a tramp would wear…!
Park (park) v./n. Before children, a verb meaning, “to go somewhere and neck.” After children, a noun meaning a place with a swing set and slide.
Patience (pa*shens) n. The most important ingredient for dating, marriage and children. See also “tranquilizers.”
Waterproof Mascara (wah*tr*pruf mas*kar*ah) n. Comes off if you cry, shower, or swim, but will not come off if you try to remove it.
Valentine’s Day (val*en*tinez dae) n. A day when you have dreams of a candlelight dinner, diamonds, and romance, but consider yourself lucky to get a car
Hey I’m just saying. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a WONDERFUL
WEDNESDAY people, stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here!  Eucman!  

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y  

At the height of laughter, the universe is flung into a kaleidoscope of new possibilities. Jean Houston

Even if there is nothing to laugh about, laugh on credit. Author Unknown

Mirth is God’s medicine. Everybody ought to bathe in it. Henry Ward Beecher

The most wasted of all days is one without laughter. e.e. cummings

Laughter is an instant vacation. Milton Berle

What monstrous absurdities and paradoxes have resisted whole batteries of serious arguments, and then crumbled swiftly into dust before the ringing death-knell of a laugh! Agnes Repplier

G u a r a n t e e d   t o   R o l l  Y o u r   E y e s! 

A group of tourists were watching the re-enactment of an ancient Egyptian religious ritual. One turned to a nearby local, pointed to the statue that was being praised and asked, “Pardon me, but what was the name of that god supposed to be?” “Why do you ask?” the man replied.
The tourist shrugged. “Just idol curiosity, I guess.”😁😎

Tuesdays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ”  

 “Jump ahead, ten, twenty years, and you’re married. Only your marriage doesn’t have that same energy that it used to have. You start to blame your husband. You start to think about all those guys you’ve met in your life and what might have happened if you’d picked up with one of them, right? Well, I’m one of those guys. That’s me.”
Answer: Before Sunrise!American tourist Jesse (Ethan Hawke) meets a French woman, Celine (Julie Delpy), on a train heading for Paris via Vienna, and they immediately hit it off. When the time comes for Jesse to disembark, he makes a surprising proposition to Celine – he only has one day left in Europe and he would like to spend that time continuing their conversation, so he says the quoted line to Celine, to persuade her to get off the train with him. The strategy pays off, and the rest of “Before Sunrise” follows the pair as they wander around the Austrian capital, and exchange their views on religion, reincarnation and the nature of love.

This magical movie demonstrates that sometimes the most memorable and profound relationships are never meant to last for longer than a day, and serves as a reminder that real connections are truly a rare and wonderful thing. Celine says it best with a line of her own that occurs later in the film: “If there’s any kind of magic in this world it must be in the attempt of understanding someone, sharing something. I know, it’s almost impossible to succeed, but who cares really? The answer must be in the attempt.”

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from????

“Years ago, my mother used to say to me, she’d say, ‘In this world, Elwood, you must be’ – she always called me Elwood – ‘In this world, Elwood, you must be oh so smart or oh so pleasant.’

Tuesday’s Quizzler is….​

My first is double twenty-one but twice of twenty-two, Decipher it and you will see that statement is quite true.
My next two are just three apart, or, looking at the link, You’ll have the answer easily and will not have to think.
My fourth is so more ways than one, so long as you can spell, While my fifth splits first and second, so what is it? Can you tell?
It may seem like these words of rhyme are nonsense things to say, Though the five together are right here (two ways) so what are they?

Answer: The answer that you seek to find, in words, is now shown here,To understand the clues read on, I’ll try to make it clear.
The twenty-first of letters is U in the alphabet, Double it, W is the letter you would then get.
Now the twenty-second letter of the alphabet is V, When written twice together a W it could be.
I hope I’ve explained the clues to give W as letter one, Now let’s move on, there’s four more letters to be done.
The second and third letters are three from each other, But to scour the alphabet to find them, you needn’t bother.
If you were looking carefully you’d have seen in the third line, The linking word, OR, fits this criteria just fine.
This makes the second O, and R would be the third, Which gives us W, O and R as letters of this word.
The fourth letter in the alphabet is fourth in the answer too, Which makes the fourth one D, only one more left to do!
Finally the fifth lies between the first and second, In the alphabet, S splits W and O, that’s what I reckoned.
Combine the five, see that they’ve been used here a lot? And in the seventh line, sixth word, the answer even got a spot!
So now you know the answer and those clues are less absurd, It’s amazing what you can do with a word, oops, I mean WORDS!  


Wednesday’s Quizzler is…….

I’m powerful enough to clean most anything,Yet gentle enough to eat.
I’m used to make an explosion of sorts,Yet can be found at millions of stores worldwide.
I can kill grass,And even tenderize your meat.
I can clean up even the smelliest stench,and soften your fabrics.

What am I?

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/RECOMMENDED WEBSITE LINKS:https://elisabethluxe.com, http://www.themuscleministry.com.CHECK THIS BOOK OUT online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#, Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store.

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