Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!



Why is it that when you’re driving and looking for
an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?

If you have your finger touching the rearview mirror that says —
“objects in mirror are closer than they appear”, how can that be possible?

Why is it so hard to remember how to spell MNEMONIC?

If someone invented instant water, what would they mix it with?

Why is it called a TV “set” when you only get one?

Why does your nose run and your feet smell?

Why does an alarm clock “go off” when it begins ringing?

If pro is the opposite of con, is progress the opposite of congress?

Why does “cleave” mean both split apart and stick together?

Why is it, whether you sit up or sit down, the result is the same?

Hey I’m just saying. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a HAPPY
TUESDAY people, stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up!
Peace, I am outta here! Eucman!

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“The main dangers in this life are
the people who want to change
everything – or nothing.” – Nancy Astor

“We don’t know a millionth of one
percent about anything.” Thomas A. Edison

“I respect faith, but doubt is what gets
you an education.” – Wilson Mizner

“A team of British lawyers has now concluded
that the Declaration of Independence was illegal,
and the American colonies had no right to secede
from England. Well, you thought our court system
was backed up.” -Jay Leno

“A new study shows that monkeys can look at photos
and recognize other monkeys they know. However,
the study also shows that monkeys are terrible
with names.” -Conan O’Brien

“A new study found that bacon and freshly baked
bread are Americans’ favorite smells. Yeah, this
morning instead of putting on cologne, I just rubbed
my neck with a B.L.T.” -Jimmy Fallon

G u a r a n t e e d t o R o l l Y o u r E y e s!
A Sunday School teacher of preschoolers told her students that she
wanted each of them to have learned one fact about Jesus by the
next Sunday. The following week she asked each child in turn what they had learned.

Susie said, “He was born in a manger.”

Bobby said, “He threw the money changers out of the temple.”

Little Johnny said, “He has a red pickup truck but he doesn’t know how to drive it.”

Curious, the teacher asked, “And where did you learn that, Johnny?”

“From my Daddy,” said Johnny. “Yesterday we were driving down
the highway, and this red pickup truck pulled out in front of us and
Daddy yelled at him, ‘Jesus Christ! Why don’t you learn how to drive?'” 😱😳😁😎

Mondays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“What do you mean, twenty feet short?” “You’re twenty feet short of the woods. The hole is right here in open. The guard is between us and the lights.”

Answer: The Great Escape
In the events leading up to this scene, Allied prisoners considered especially escape prone are being held in a special high-security “escape-proof” German POW (Prisoner Of War) camp, during World War II. Even though they are being watched closely, a mass escape through one of three tunnels dug from the camp to the nearby woods is being plotted by Squadron Leader Roger “Big X” Bartlett (Richard Attenborough) and a few other leaders. In this scene, the night of escape is reached and the tunnel far end is dug upwards to break the soil. Capt. Hilts “The Cooler King” (Steve McQueen) is first to stick his head out of the exit and is dismayed to see the tunnel is too short. He reports back to Bartlett, who then responds with line one. Hilts then clarifies the situation with line two. This movie is based on an actual escape of 76 POWs from Stalag Luft III prison camp near Munich, Germany. But while individual incidents in the film are mostly true, they were rearranged as to both the timing and the people involved. Historical note: Although most of the 76 escapees were eventually captured or killed, the escape did have the desired effect of diverting considerable German resources in tracking down the escapees and increasing the number of camp guards.

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from????
“Fraulein, were you this much trouble at the Abbey?” “Oh, much more, sir.”

Monday’s Quizzler is….​
I am a set of three words, all with the same six letters.
First I am a kingdom, though not royally so.
Then spell me backwards, and I become a thin plate.
Now rearrange my consonants, leaving my vowels in place …
I am now a type of paper. What are the words?

Answer: animal = a kingdom, not royal, but biological
lamina = a thin plate
manila = a type of paper

Tuesday’s Quizzler is…….
Can you unscramble the countries in Part 1 and match them
with the appropriate fact about them in Part 2? And your answer is?

Part 1

  1. HCAIN
  3. PAJNA

Part 2

  1. This is the world’s most populous country.
  2. The capital of this country is Abuja.
  3. This is the only country to ever suffer an attack with atomic weapons.
  4. The capital of this country is Seoul.
  5. This country is a great industrial power despite the fact that it must import many resources.
  6. The capital of this country is Pretoria.
  7. Dracula’s home, Transylvania, is in this country.

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

https://elisabethluxe.com, http://www.themuscleministry.com.

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