Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to THURSDAY JANUARY 14, 2021

Whatsamatta University’s Seminars For Women Fall Catalogue
Once again, the male staff at Whatsamatta University will be offering courses for women of all marital status in an attempt to help males and females understand each other better. Attendance in at least 10 of the following is required.

  1. Combatting The Impulse To Nag
  2. You Can Change The Oil Too
  3. How To Properly Fill A Beer Mug
  4. We Do Not Want Ties For Christmas
  5. Understanding The Female Causes Of Male Drunkenness
  6. How To Do All Your Laundry In One Load And Have More Time To Watch Football
  7. Parenting – Your Husband Gave You Children So You Could Have Someone Other Than Him To Boss Around
  8. How To Encourage Your Husband To Cook More And Be Able To Stomach His Slop
  9. How Not To Sob Like A Sponge When Your Husband Is Right
  10. Get A Life – Learn To Kill Spiders Yourself
  11. Balancing A Checkbook – Even You Can Get It Right
  12. Comprehending Credit Card Spending Limits And Financial Responsibility
  13. You, The Whining Sex
  14. Shopping – Doing It In Less Than 16 Hours
  15. If You Want To Know How That Looks On You, Ask Your Mother
  16. How To Close The Garage Door
  17. If You Don’t Want An Excuse, Don’t Demand An Explanation
  18. How To Go Fishing With Your Mate And Not Catch Pneumonia
  19. Living Without Power Windows – How To Turn A Crank
  20. Romanticism – The Whole Point Of Caviar, Candles, And Conversation
  21. How To Retain Your Composure While Your Husband Is Relaxing By Himself
  22. Why You Don’t Need To Invite Your Mother Over Every Weekend
  23. Payday And Shopping Are Not Synonymous
  24. How To Act Younger Than Your Mother
  25. You Too Can Carry A Backpack
  26. Female Friendship – Why Your Best Friends Are Not The Women Who Complain About You The Most
  27. Learning To Appreciate The Beer Belly And Lard Butt Morphologies Of Men
  28. Attainable Goal – Catching A Ball Before It Stops Moving
  29. How To Close The Top On The Toothpaste

Hey I’m just saying. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT
THURSDAY people, stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up!
Peace, I am outta here! Eucman!

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

He’s turned his life around. He used to be depressed
and miserable. Now he’s miserable and depressed.
Harry Kalas, on Garry Maddox, 1981

He who believes that the past cannot be changed
has not yet written his memoirs. Torvald Gahlin

I plan on living forever. So far, so good. Author Unknown

Ability is what will get you to the top if the
boss has no daughter. Author Unknown

Love your enemies. It makes them
so damned mad. P.D. East

As to the Seven Deadly Sins, I deplore Pride, Wrath,
Lust, Envy and Greed. Gluttony and Sloth I pretty
much plan my day around. Robert Brault.

I usually lump organized religion, organized labor,
and organized crime together. The Mafia gets points
for having the best restaurants. Dave Beard

There’s no such thing as fun for the whole family. Jerry Seinfeld

G u a r a n t e e d t o R o l l Y o u r E y e s!
Three vampires walk into a bar and sit down at a table. The waitress comes
over and asks the first vampire what he would like. The first vampire responds, “I vould like some blood.”
The waitress turns to the second vampire and asks what he would like. The vampire responds, “I vould like some blood.”
The waitress turns to the third vampire and asks what he would like. The vampire responds, “I vould like some plasma.”
The waitress looks up and says, “Let me see if I have this order correct. You want two bloods and a blood light?”😁😎

Wednesdays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“Stop! L.A.P.D! Get out of the car!” “Hey man, this is MY car. I OWN this car. It’s NOT stolen.”

Answer: Speed
In the events leading up to this scene, disgruntled explosives expert Howard Payne (Dennis Hopper) attempts to collect the disability settlement he thinks he is due by booby trapping a high-rise elevator and demanding a ransom. However, the L.A.P.D. SWAT team, which includes Officer Jack Traven (Keanu Reeves) and Detective Harry Temple (Jeff Daniels), is able to save all the passengers and prevent Payne’s plan. He then sabotages a city bus so that it will explode if its speed drops below 50 mph, or if any passengers are removed. In this scene Traven is attempting to commandeer a car so he can speed after the bus and warn it. He shows his badge and shouts line one to cars on the freeway. The black driver of a Jaguar convertible, who initially thinks he is being stopped on suspicion of car robbery, shouts back line two. Traven then pulls out his gun and says, “It is now. Move over.” In the 1995 Academy Awards “Speed” won two Oscars and was nominated for a third. Thirteen buses were used in filming the bus scenes, including one with special hydraulic suspension to allow cornering at high speeds, one with a camera platform on the front to allow filming the driver’s face, and two that were blown up. The highway scenes were filmed on a California freeway that had just been completed but had not yet been opened to the public.

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from????
“Don’t ever do nothin’ like this again. Don’t come back up here.” “You don’t have to worry about that, Sheriff.”

Wednesday’s Quizzler is….​
What is this famous saying?

zain yain xain wain vain uain tain sain rain qain oain nain main lain kain jain iain hain fain eain dain cain bain aain

Answer: No pain, no gain
In a backwards sequence, every alphabetical letter comes with the suffix “ain” except “p” and “g” and hence “no p-ain”, “no g-ain”.

Thursday’s Quizzler is…….
I’m in a zoo
But not in a jungle
I rarely come in pairs
But I’m in every puzzle

Some think I’m in a xylophone
But, I most certainly am not
You don’t see me with a loan
But very strangely in a zealot

I’m in the magical prison of Azkaban
Well, can’t you see?
I’m in the buzz of a fan
But, my oh my what could I be?

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

RECOMMENDED WEBSITE LINKS:
https://elisabethluxe.com, http://www.themuscleministry.com.

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