Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to FRIDAY JANUARY 29, 2021

Laughing Out Loud…….

If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive
They’d find me attractive by now

Why don’t cats play poker in the jungle?
Too many cheetahs

What do you call a sleepwalking nun?
A roamin’ Catholic

Two peanuts were walking down a dark alley
One was assaulted

My girlfriend accused me of cheating
I told her she was starting to sound like my wife

A man asked me for a donation towards the local swimming pool
So I gave him a glass of water

I tried to sue the airport for misplacing my luggage
I lost my case

What do you get when you throw a piano down a mine shaft?
A flat miner

If you give an alligator a GPS
Does that make it a navigator?

How do trees get online?
They just log in

What do you call a singing laptop?
A Dell

Why is it so hard for a leopard to hide?
Because it’s always spotted

I don’t know what Armageddon means
So what? It’s not the end of the world

What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind?
A Maybe

Why go to the paint store when you’re on a diet?
You can get thinner there

Why shouldn’t you fall in love with a pastry chef?
He’ll dessert you

What do cats like to eat for breakfast?
Mice Krispies

What do you call the cat that was caught by the police?
The purrpatrator

People in Dubai don’t like the Flintstones
But people in Abu Dhabi do!

You may think it’s romantic to carve our names on this tree
But I have to ask, why did you bring a knife on our first date?

Hey I’m just saying. That’s my story
and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT WEEKEND people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up!
Peace, I am outta here! Eucman!

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

What do I do for a living? I breathe in and out.

If only common sense were more common.

I really should do something with
my life; maybe tomorrow.

I didn’t fall; I’m just spending some
quality time with the floor.

I’m old enough to know better but
young enough to do it anyway.

Sunglasses allow you to stare at
people without getting caught.
It’s like Facebook in real life.

We all have baggage; find someone who
loves you enough to help you unpack.

G u a r a n t e e d to Make You Laugh!
As she was getting ready for school one morning Grace asked her mother, “How did the human race appear mom?”
“Well”, said her mother, “God made Adam and Eve and they had children and that’s how we all began dear.” Two days later Grace asked her father the same question.
“Well”, said her father, “first there were apes and from them, the human race has evolved.”
Naturally, these responses left Grace a little confused.
So once again she spoke with her mother and said, “Mom I don’t understand. You said that we
were created by God but dad says we evolved from apes. How can that be?”
Her mother smiled and said, “Well darling it’s all very simple really. I was telling you
about my side of the family and your father told you about his.” 😁😎

Thursdays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“Why do you want this so badly?” “Because they said I couldn’t have it.”

Answer: Men of Honor!
This movie tells the true story of Carl Brashear (Cuba Gooding Jr.), who endured racial prejudice and unfairness to become the U.S. Navy’s first African-American diver and later the first amputee Master Diver. Although U.S. President Harry S. Truman officially ordered an end to racial segregation in all branches of the U.S. armed forces in 1948, his order permitted local commanders to implement desegregation at such time they deemed appropriate. Unfortunately for Carl, commander Mr. Pappy at the Bayonne, N.J. divers’ training school (Hal Holbrook) is an avid racist. The famous quote from this movie is by Robert De Niro’s character (he plays diving instructor Chief Leslie “Billy” Sunday). When he is addressing a new class of recruits he points out there was an old-time preacher named Billy Sunday and then says, “The only difference between me and that old preacher is that he worked for God, and I AM God!” In this scene, medical student Jo (Aunjanue Ellis) is asked by Carl to tutor him so he can pass the written tests in his training and she asks the question in line one. He replies with line two. The real Carl Brashear was on the movie set to give advice during filming.

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from????
“We’re the first team.” “Yeah, and we’re not gonna fall for a banana in the tailpipe.”

Thursday’s Quizzler is….​
Can you decipher this rebus:
M1y 1Li1f1e
Answer: For once in my life.(Four ones, in my life)

Friday’s Quizzler is…….
What is represented below?

Der Der
Der Der
Der Der
Der Der
Der Der

CALOVERE

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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