Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!


Thinking Out Loud….

A naked woman robbed a bank.
Nobody could remember her face.

Patient: Doctor I’m so nervous, this is my first operation.
Doctor: Oh don’t worry. It’s mine too.

Don’t be sad when a bird craps on your head.
Be happy that dogs can’t fly.

My girlfriend isn’t talking to me. She said I ruined her birthday.
I’m not sure how. I didn’t even know it was her birthday.

My girlfriend says I’m hopeless at fixing appliances.
Well she’s in for a shock.

What do you call a Mexican bodybuilder who’s run out of protein?
No whey Jose.

My girlfriend has her own taser.
She’s a real stunner.

I bought a dog off a blacksmith recently.
As soon as I got it home it made a bolt for the door.

What do you do with an epileptic lettuce?
You make a seizure salad.

A man walked into a zoo and the only animal they have was a dog
It was a Shih Tzu.

Hey I’m just saying. That’s my story
and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT MONDAY people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up!
Peace, I am outta here! Eucman!

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

Whatever you are, be a
good one. ~Abraham Lincoln

The future depends on what
we do in the present. ~Mahatma Gandhi

Have the courage to follow your
heart and your intuition. They somehow
know what you truly want to become. ~Steve Jobs

The people who are crazy enough to
think they can change the world are
the ones who do. ~Albert Einstein

Well done is better than well said. ~Benjamin Franklin

Don’t chase people. Be yourself; do your
own thing; and work hard. The right
people – the ones who really belong in
your life – will come to you. And stay. ~Will Smith

G u a r a n t e e d to Make You Laugh!
An elderly woman had just returned home from an evening church service when
she realized there was an intruder in her home. Seeing that he was in the act of
robbing her home of its valuables, the lady yelled “Stop! Acts 2:38!”

Hearing her, the burglar stopped dead in his tracks and stood motionless. The
woman calmly called the police and explained what was going on.

As the officer cuffed the man to take him in, he asked the burglar, “Why did you
just stand there? All the lady did was yell a Bible verse at you.”

“Bible verse?” said the burglar, “She said she had an ax and two 38’s!” 😳😁😎

Fridays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“We’re the first team.” “Yeah, and we’re not gonna fall for a banana in the tailpipe.”

Answer: Beverly Hills Cop
In the events leading up to this scene, a friend visiting from California is killed right before the eyes of Detroit cop Detective Axel Foley (Eddie Murphy). Foley follows the killer to Beverly Hills, California, where Lieutenant Andrew Bogomil (Ronny Cox) in the Beverly Hills police department assigns Detective Billy Rosewood (Judge Reinhold) and Rosewood’s partner, Sergeant John Taggart (John Ashton), to keep an eye on him. In order to slip away from them to do some investigating of the murder of his friend, he manages to slip a banana into the tailpipe of their car while they are parked. When he takes off by car and they try to follow, the banana makes their car stall. In this scene, Rosewood and Taggart have been replaced by the “A” team. Detective McCabe (Joel Bailey) says the first line to Foley and his partner Detective Foster (Art Kimbro) adds line two. In the 1985 Academy Awards, “Beverly Hills Cop” was nominated for an Oscar in the category of Screenplay Written Directly for the Screen but lost to “Places in the Heart.” Many of the comic lines in this movie were improvised and hundreds of takes were ruined by actors or the director himself who laughed during filming.

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from????
“Tell me I’m a good man.” “You ARE.”

Friday’s Quizzler is….​
What is represented below?

Der Der
Der Der
Der Der
Der Der
Der Der

Answer: Tender Loving Care.
“Der” was written TEN times
TEN “Der”
“Love” is in “Care”

Monday’s Quizzler is…….
A spoonerism is a pair of words that can have their initial sounds switched to form new words. The pairs need only sound the same, not necessarily be spelled the same (power saw & sour paw, horse cart & coarse heart). There may sometimes be one or two connecting words (kick the stone & stick the cone, king of the rats & ring of the cats). Given the following definitions, what are the spoonerisms?

1) ales in Madrid & to refuse javelins
2) sluggish crawl & insane jump
3) very warm poodle & selfish hoarder of specks
4) large cetacean & bundle of toupees

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at,


CHECK THIS BOOK OUT online at, The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store.


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