Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!



I believe we should all pay our tax bill with a smile. I tried — but they wanted cash.

Why can’t you play cards on a small boat? Because someone is always sitting on the deck.

Bowling Alley: Please be quiet. We need to hear a pin drop.

Cafeteria: Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria. (Socks can eat any place they want.)

Car Dealership: The best way to get back on your feet — miss a car payment.

Are these genes in your jeans or are you just happy to see me?

That that is, is, that that is not, is not. [try understanding that without the commas set]

My favorite bumper stickers says: “All generalizations are false.”

The road to hell is paved with good intentions.

When one door shuts, another opens.

He who pays the piper calls the tune.

You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink.

When the going gets tough, the tough get going.

If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

A fool with a tool is still a fool.

If you can’t convince them, confuse them.

That’s the silliest thing I ever assimilated. [Groucho Borg]

That’s my story and I’m sticking too it! Have a HAPPY TUESDAY people, stay safe, and
whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“The FDA is warning New Yorkers about Chinese food after a major Brooklyn
distributor was found with rats and birds nesting in boxes of ingredients. The
distributor says it’s all a misunderstanding – those ARE the ingredients.” -Seth Meyers

“The Wall Street Journal reported that America has a surplus of cheese and that
every person in the country would have to eat an extra three pounds of cheese
this year to get rid of it. So the next time the pizza guy judges you for ordering
extra cheese, just say, ‘I’m doing this for America.'” -Jimmy Fallon

“The electronics company LG identified a new phenomenon called low-battery anxiety.
People become nervous, distracted, and frustrated when their phones are about to die.
If you are not familiar with low-battery anxiety, it’s a real condition that primarily affects
people with no actual problems.” -James Corden

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
One evening after dinner, a five-year-old son noticed that his mother had gone out and he asked, “Where did mommy go?”
His father told him, “Mommy is at a Tupperware party.”
This explanation satisfied him for only a moment. “What’s a Tupperware party, Dad?”
The man had always given my son honest answers, so he figured a simple explanation would be the
best approach. “Well, son,” he said, “at a Tupperware party, a bunch of ladies sit around and sell plastic bowls to each other.”
He nodded, indicating that he understood this curious pastime.
Then he burst into laughter. “Come on, Dad,” he said. “What is it really?” 😁😎

Mondays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“You do that, I’m gonna tell him you’re seeing somebody else while he’s on the stage.” “I have two words for you: green card.”

Answer: The Birdcage!
In this scene, nightclub owner Armand Goldman (Robin Williams) has just warned his gay Guatemalan house boy Agador Spartacus (Hank Azaria) with the line, “Now take that wig off or I’ll tell Albert you’re wearing it”, referring to the female impersonator Albert Goldman (Nathan Lane), who is the star of his show. Agador says line one and Armand responds with line two. Azaria’s portrayal of Agador Spartacus is wonderful. He is perhaps best known to American audiences for the many voices he provides for the television show “The Simpsons.” This movie tells the hilarious story of gay parents of a straight young man who agree to act as straight when meeting the ultra-conservative, moralistic parents of the young man’s fiancée.

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from????
“You can either have the money and the hammer or you can walk out of here. You can’t have both. What do you want?” “I just wanna get outta here.”

Monday’s Quizzler is….​
I break, she falls. I break, she falls. Who am I, and who is she?

Answer: I am day, and she is night.

Tuesday’s Quizzler is…….
I am loud or quiet.
I am sudden or expected.
I am a strong medication.
I am a relief in certain situations.
I am caused by embarrassment and/or happiness.
I am found in many good friendships.
I am …….

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

https://elisabethluxe.com., http://www.themuscleministry.com.,

CHECK THIS BOOK OUT online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#, Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store.



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