Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to THURSDAY May 13, 2021

Here’s the Story…..
On the first day, he sadly packed his belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases On the second day, he had the movers come and collect his things.
On the third day, he sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining-room table, by candle-light; he put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of spring-water.
When he’d finished, he went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimps dipped in caviar into the hollow center of the curtain rods. He then cleaned up the kitchen and left On the fourth day, the wife came back with her new boyfriend, and at first all was bliss Then, slowly, the house began to smell. They tried everything; cleaning, mopping, and airing-out the place Vents were checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam cleaned. Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which time the two had to move out for a few days, and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting.. Nothing worked! People stopped coming over to visit Repairmen refused to work in the house The maid quit.
Finally, they couldn’t take the stench any longer, and decided they had to move, but a month later – even
though they’d cut their price in half – they couldn’t find a buyer for such a stinky house
Word got out, and eventually even the local realtors refused to return their calls.
Finally, unable to wait any longer for a purchaser, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place Then the ex called the woman and asked how things were going..
She told him the saga of the rotting house He listened politely and said that he missed his old home terribly and would be willing to reduce his divorce settlement in exchange for having the house.
Knowing he could have no idea how bad the smell really was, she agreed on a price that was only 1/10th
of what the house had been worth … but only if he would sign the papers that very day.
He agreed, and within two hours her lawyers delivered the completed paperwork.
A week later the woman and her boyfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything
to take to their new home ……and to spite the ex-husband, they even took the curtain rods! 😱😳😁😎

That’s my story and I’m sticking too it! Have a GREAT WEEKEND! people, stay safe, and
whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“If the real world were a book, it would never find a publisher. Overlong,
detailed to the point of distraction – and ultimately, without a major resolution.”
Jasper Fforde

“Life doesn’t imitate art, it imitates bad television.”
Woody Allen

“Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.”
Robert Benchley

“Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving.”
Albert Einstein

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
“Jim, why don’t you play golf with Steve anymore?” asked a friend.
“Would you play golf with a guy who moved the ball with his foot when you weren’t watching?” Jim asked.
“Well, no, I suppose not,” admitted the friend.
“Neither will Steve,” replied Jim. 😳

Thursdays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“What do you mean, twenty feet short?”
“You’re twenty feet short of the woods. The hole is right here in open. The guard is between us and the lights.”

Answer: The Great Escape!
In the events leading up to this scene, Allied prisoners considered especially escape prone are being held in a special high-security “escape-proof” German POW (Prisoner Of War) camp, during World War II. Even though they are being watched closely, a mass escape through one of three tunnels dug from the camp to the nearby woods is being plotted by Squadron Leader Roger “Big X” Bartlett (Richard Attenborough) and a few other leaders. In this scene, the night of escape is reached and the tunnel far end is dug upwards to break the soil. Capt. Hilts “The Cooler King” (Steve McQueen) is first to stick his head out of the exit and is dismayed to see the tunnel is too short. He reports back to Bartlett, who then responds with line one. Hilts then clarifies the situation with line two. This movie is based on an actual escape of 76 POWs from Stalag Luft III prison camp near Munich, Germany. But while individual incidents in the film are mostly true, they were rearranged as to both the timing and the people involved. Historical note: Although most of the 76 escapees were eventually captured or killed, the escape did have the desired effect of diverting considerable German resources in tracking down the escapees and increasing the number of camp guards.

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from????
“Fraulein, were you this much trouble at the Abbey?”
“Oh, much more, sir.”

Thursday’s Quizzler is….​
Below are incomplete words. Place two letters in each bracket so that you can complete the word on the left and begin the word on the right. Good luck.

Fu (–) am
Ed (–) ar
Dit (–) urch
Ju (–) eam
Ran (–) ese
Divi (–) bt
Pi (–) upt
Dro (–) rse
Tr (–) aze
Bud (–) nder

Answer: Fuse – seam
Edge – gear
Ditch – church
Just – steam
Range – geese
Divide – debt
Pier – erupt
Drove – verse
Tram – amaze
Budge – gender

Friday’s Quizzler is…….
What phrase is represented below?

HEA wooden stick VEN

HEA wooden stick + sulphur head VEN

HEA wooden stick + sulphur head + phosphorus tip VEN

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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