Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to THURSDAY May 13, 2021

Here’s the Story…..
As he walked up to old lady’s car he noticed there were 3 other elderly folks looking very frightened and rigid.
He leaned down to the old lady’s window and noticed she was as calm as could be.
“Do you know why I pulled you over, Ma’am?”
“No, I do not,” she replied sweetly.
“You were going 10mph on the highway. That’s a serious hazard for other drivers.”
The officer couldn’t help but glance at the three terrified passengers.
The little old lady pointed at the sign nearby. “Isn’t the speed limit 10?”
The officer looked at the sign and laughed
“Ma’am, that’s the sign telling you which highway you’re on. Interstate 10.”
The little old lady burst out in a fit of giggles. “Oh, I’m sorry!”
The officer decided it was an honest mistake and was going to let her go. But curiosity got the better of him
“Can I ask why your passengers are so scared?”
The little old lady laughed again
“Probably because I just got off Interstate 175.”

That’s my story and I’m sticking too it! Have a GREAT THURSDAY! people, stay safe, and
whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“Taco Bell just announced that it will be adding beer to the menu at certain restaurants in
Canada. It’s the first time that going to Taco Bell will lead to getting drunk and not
the other way around.” -James Corden

“A man in Oregon walked away with minor injuries after he fell asleep in a dumpster and
ended up in a trash compacter. It raises a lot of questions, and the answer to all of them is tequila.” -Jimmy Fallon

“Expedia released their rankings of the most annoying drivers in America. For the 15th year
in a row, the most annoying driver on the road is every driver but you. The survey says the
least popular passengers are backseat drivers. I would have said carjackers.” -Jimmy Kimmel

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
Conjoined twins walk into a pub in Toronto and park themselves on a bar stool. One of them
says to the bartender, “Don’t mind us, we’re joined at the hip. I’m John, he’s Jim. Two Molson Canadian beers please.”
The bartender, feeling slightly awkward, tries to make polite conversation while pouring the beers. “Been on holiday, lads?”
“Off to England next month,” says John. “We go to England every year, hire a car, and drive for miles, don’t we, Jim?” Jim agrees.
“Ah, England!” says the bartender. “Wonderful Country…the history, the beer, the culture…”
“Nah, we don’t like that British crap,” says John. “Hamburgers and Molson’s beer, that’s us, eh, Jim? And
we can’t stand the English; they’re so arrogant and rude, not civil and polite like us Canadians.”
“So why keep going to England?” asks the bartender.
“It’s the only chance Jim gets to drive.” 😳

Wednesdays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“Tonya, can you play the balalaika?”
“Can she play? She’s an artist!”

Answer: Doctor Zhivago!
In the events leading up to this scene, young Dr. Yuri Zhivago (Omar Sharif) meets and falls in love with nurse Lara Antipova (Julie Christie), loses track of her and then finds her again. Much of this movie is set during the Russian Revolution and against the vastness of the Russian landscape. In this scene (the last scene in the movie), Yuri’s half brother, General Yevgraf Zhivago (Alec Guinness), has tracked down a young woman he thinks might be the daughter of Yuri and Lara and talks to her. As she leaves with her boyfriend (Mark Eden) he notices she is carrying a balalaika (a Russian stringed instrument and one of Yuri’s favorites). He shouts line one after her, as they leave and her boyfriend shouts back line two. General Zhivago responds with the last line in the movie, “Ah, then it’s a gift.” In the 1966 Academy Awards “Doctor Zhivago” won five Oscars and was nominated for five more, including Best Picture (but lost to “The Sound of Music”). This is one of those epic movies by director David Lean that needs to be seen on a wide screen to be fully appreciated.

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from????
“What do you mean, twenty feet short?”
“You’re twenty feet short of the woods. The hole is right here in open. The guard is between us and the lights.”

Wednesday’s Quizzler is….​
Each of the following sentences contains clues to a set of three words that are anagrams of each other (each sentence describes a different set).

1) George threw his extra javelin through two fleshy fruits related to an apple.

2) Mary had to halt the food preparation because she found a stain on each of the cooking utensils.

3) Per the negotiation, Isaac agreed to guide the troops through the valley.

4) How would you respond if the container of supplies had disappeared without a vestige?

Answer: spare = extra
spear = javelin
pears = fruit related to the apple

stop = halt
spot = stain
pots = cooking utensils

deal = negotiation
lead = guide
dale = valley

react = respond
crate = container
trace = vestige

Thursday’s Quizzler is…….
Below are incomplete words. Place two letters in each bracket so that you can complete the word on the left and begin the word on the right. Good luck.

Fu (–) am
Ed (–) ar
Dit (–) urch
Ju (–) eam
Ran (–) ese
Divi (–) bt
Pi (–) upt
Dro (–) rse
Tr (–) aze
Bud (–) nder

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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