Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to WEDNESDAY JUNE 2, 2021

What the Doctor says and what he really means……

Doctor: “This should be taken care of right away.”
Translation: I’d planned a trip to Hawaii next month, but this is so easy and profitable that I want to fix it before it cures itself.

Doctor: “Let me check your medical history.”
Translation: I want to see if you’ve paid your last bill before spending any more time with you.”

Doctor: “We have some good news and some bad news.”
Translation: The good news is, I’m going to buy that new BMW. The bad news is, you’re going to pay for it.

Doctor: “Let me schedule you for some tests.”
Translation: I have a forty percent interest in the lab.

Doctor: “I’d like to prescribe a new drug.”
Translation: I’m writing a paper and would like to use you for a guinea pig.

Doctor: “If it doesn’t clear up in a week, give me a call.”
Translation: I don’t know what it is. Maybe it will go away by itself.

Doctor: “I’d like to run some more tests.”
Translation: I can’t figure out what’s wrong. Maybe the kid in the lab can solve it.

That’s my story and I’m sticking too it! Have a WONDERFUL WEDNESDAY! people, stay safe, and
whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“Parents at a Florida school are reportedly outraged after a video surfaced of
students in a classroom twerking and giving lap dances. Or as it’s called
in Florida, Career Day.” -Seth Meyers

“Yesterday, a brawl broke out at a Florida airport after Spirit Airlines canceled
several flights. To restore control, airport police were forced to fire
Cinnabons into the crowd.” -Conan O’Brien

“I read about a coffee shop in Toronto that doesn’t have any Wi-Fi to encourage
customers to talk to each other. Although all the customers talk about now is
how they should really get Wi-Fi in this coffee shop.” -Jimmy Fallon

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
A skeptical anthropologist was cataloguing South American folk remedies with
the assistance of a tribal pujo who indicated that the leaves of a particular fern
were a sure cure for any case of constipation. When the anthropologist expressed
his doubts, the pujo looked him in the eye and said, “Let me tell you, with
fronds like these, you don’t need enemas.” 😱😳

Tuesdays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“You’re spoiled, vengeful and bloody! Your poetry is sour and your music is worse.”

Answer: Anne of the Thousand Days!
Anne Boleyn says this to King Henry while they are out riding on her home estate, where Henry has come to win her affections. She is angry because Henry has refused her permission to marry Lord Percy, son of the Duke of Northumberland, because he wants her for himself.
“Anne of the Thousand Days” is the love story of Anne Boleyn and Henry VIII of England. It is a story that changed England forever. The movie stars Richard Burton as King Henry VIII and Genevieve Bujold as Anne Boleyn.
Quoted by AnneBonney

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from????
“…and they mostly come at night…mostly.”

Tuesday’s Quizzler is….​
Five friends went shopping at different times, days, and at different places. Who went shopping at what place, and what time, and what day?
The boys are Darien and Dennis; the girls are Mina, Amy, and Serena.

clues:

1) Serena doesn’t wake up until after noon, and she went somewhere to eat.
2) The toy shopper went on Saturday.
3) Mina went shopping on Monday
4) None of the girls shopped at the bike shop.
5) Dennis did not go out for food.
6) Amy went at 10 AM.
7) Dennis and the cafe shopper went on the weekend.
8) The person who went to the cafe, went after noon.
9) Friday was a busy morning at the grocery store for the girl who shopped there.
10) The person went to the bakery right when it opened, which was at 9:30 AM.
11) The toy shopper went shopping at noon.
12) Mina went earlier in the day than Amy, and Serena went earlier than Darien.

Answer: 1) Serena doesn’t wake up until after noon (Which means she did not go out anytime before noon or at noon), and she went somewhere to eat (So she didn’t go to the bike shop or the toy store.).
2) The toy shopper went on Saturday (And since we know that Serena isn’t the toy shopper, she didn’t go on Saturday.).
3) Mina went shopping on Monday (Which means she’s not the toy shopper.).
4) None of the girls shopped at the bike shop (That leaves only the boys.).
7) Dennis and the cafe shopper went on the weekend (The cafe shopper went on Sunday, which means Dennis went on Saturday. The toy shopper went on Saturday, so the person is Dennis. This leaves Darien to be the only one to go to the bike shop.).
9) Friday was a busy morning at the grocery store for the girl who shopped there(Morning.).
11) The toy shopper went shopping at noon (Here, we find out that the grocery shopper went at 10 AM, which was Amy.).
12) Mina went earlier in the day than Amy (The only possible answer is 9:30 AM), and Serena went earlier than Darien (Serena went at 1:30 and Darien went at 3 PM. The cafe person went at 1:30-Serena, and she went on Sunday. Amy went to the grocery store, which leaves Mina at the bakery.).

Serena/Cafe/Sunday/1:30 PM
Darien/Bike/Wednesday/3 PM
Amy/Grocery/Friday/10 AM
Mina/Bakery/Monday/9:30 AM
Dennis/Toys/Saturday/Noon

Wednesday’s Quizzler is…….
Can you decipher this phrase?

T _ _ E

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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