Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to TUESDAY JUNE 1, 2021

Daffynitions…..

ADULT – A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.

BEAUTY PARLOR – A place where women curl up and dye.

CHICKENS – The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.

COMMITTEE – A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.

DUST – Mud with the juice squeezed out.

EGOTIST – Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.

HANDKERCHIEF – Cold Storage.

INFLATION – Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.

MOSQUITO – An insect that makes you like flies better.

RAISIN – A grape that got too much sun.

SECRET – Something you tell to one person at a time.

SKELETON – A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.

TOOTHACHE – The pain that drives you to extraction.

TOMORROW – One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.

YAWN – An honest opinion openly expressed.

WRINKLES – Something other people have, Similar to my “character lines.”

That’s my story and I’m sticking too it! Have a HAPPY TUESDAY! people, stay safe, and
whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“A group is suing Quaker Oats saying their oatmeal is not 100
percent natural. And it gets worse: The guy on the box?
He’s Jewish.” -Conan O’Brien

“Scientists have discovered a species of fish that surrounds itself
with uglier fish in order to look more attractive. However, scientists
could not identify which sorority it belongs to.” -Jimmy Fallon

“A man in Ireland has created a working Batman outfit with 23
different features. So now he just has to sit back and wait for
somebody to murder his parents.” -Seth Meyers

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
When a customer left his cell phone in my store, I scrolled through his saved
numbers, stopped at “Mom” and pushed send. His mother answered, and I told her what happened.
“Don’t worry,” she said, “I’ll take care of it.”
A few minutes later, the cell phone rang. It was “Mom.”
“Martin,” she said, “you left your cell phone at the convenience store.” 😳

Fridays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“I never told you, but you sound a little like Dr. Seuss when you’re drunk”.

Answer: The Sixth Sense!
The quote “I never told you, but you sound a little like Dr. Seuss when you’re drunk” comes from the famous opening scene to the movie, “The Sixth Sense” (1999). The quote is referring to the way Malcolm’s voice sounds unstable and out-of-it when he is drunk, kind of like Dr. Seuss’s voice. Malcolm and Anna are having a romantic evening in their room when they realize they’re not alone. Malcolm is shot and the movie starts off with Malcolm trying to help Cole (Haley Joel Osment) sort out his issues with ‘dead people’. Malcolm is portrayed by Bruce Willis, and the film was nominated for Best Picture at the Academy Awards.

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from????
“You’re spoiled, vengeful and bloody! Your poetry is sour and your music is worse.”

Friday’s Quizzler is….​
Find a rhyme for each word below so you end up with a familiar three-word phrase in the form “, , and __”.

Example:
Clue = “Cook, Wine, Drinker”
Answer = “Hook, Line, and Sinker”

  1. Shop, Swap, Dole
  2. Mop, Slip, Thump
  3. Mud, Wet, Smears
  4. Sock, Rock, Carol
  5. Claim, Debt, Scratch
  6. Steady, Filling, Label
  7. Warning, Soon, Flight

Answer: 1. Stop, Drop, and Roll

  1. Hop, Skip, and Jump
  2. Blood, Sweat, and Tears
  3. Lock, Stock, and Barrel
  4. Game, Set, and Match
  5. Ready, Willing, and Able
  6. Morning, Noon, and Night

Tuesday’s Quizzler is…….
Five friends went shopping at different times, days, and at different places. Who went shopping at what place, and what time, and what day?
The boys are Darien and Dennis; the girls are Mina, Amy, and Serena.

clues:

1) Serena doesn’t wake up until after noon, and she went somewhere to eat.
2) The toy shopper went on Saturday.
3) Mina went shopping on Monday
4) None of the girls shopped at the bike shop.
5) Dennis did not go out for food.
6) Amy went at 10 AM.
7) Dennis and the cafe shopper went on the weekend.
8) The person who went to the cafe, went after noon.
9) Friday was a busy morning at the grocery store for the girl who shopped there.
10) The person went to the bakery right when it opened, which was at 9:30 AM.
11) The toy shopper went shopping at noon.
12) Mina went earlier in the day than Amy, and Serena went earlier than Darien.

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

RECOMMENDED WEBSITE LINKS:
https://elisabethluxe.com., http://www.themuscleministry.com.,

CHECK THIS BOOK OUT online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#, Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store.
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