Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!


Here’s the Story….
The day finally arrived. Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven.
He is at the Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself. However, the gates are closed, and Forrest approaches the gatekeeper.
St. Peter said, “Well, Forrest, it is certainly good to see you. We have heard a lot about you. I must tell you, though, that
the place is filling up fast, and we have been administering an entrance examination for everyone. The test is short,
but you have to pass it before you can get into Heaven.”
Forrest responds, “It sure is good to be here, St. Peter, sir. But nobody ever told me about any entrance exam. I sure
hope the test ain’t too hard. Life was a big enough test as it was.”
St. Peter continued, “Yes, I know, Forrest, but the test is only three questions.

What two days of the week begin with the letter T?
How many seconds are there in a year?
What is God's first name?"

Forrest leaves to think the questions over. He returns the next day and sees St. Peter, who waves him up, and says,
“Now that you have had a chance to think the questions over, tell me your answers.”
Forrest replied, “Well, the first one — which two days in the week begins with the letter ‘T’?
Shucks, that one is easy. That would be Today and Tomorrow.”
The Saint’s eyes opened wide and he exclaimed, “Forrest, that is not what I was thinking, but you do have a point,
and I guess I did not specify, so I will give you credit for that answer.
How about the next one?” asked St. Peter. “How many seconds in a year?”
“Now that one is harder,” replied Forrest, “but I thunk and thunk about that, and I guess the only answer can be twelve.”
Astounded, St. Peter said, “Twelve? Twelve? Forrest, how in Heaven’s name could you come up with twelve seconds in a year ?”
Forrest replied, “Shucks, there’s got to be twelve: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd…”
‘Hold it,” interrupts St. Peter. “I see where you are going with this, and I see your point, though that was not
quite what I had in mind…but I will have to give you credit for that one, too. Let us go on with the third and final question.
Can you tell me God’s first name”?
“Sure,” Forrest replied, “it’s Andy.”
“Andy?” exclaimed an exasperated and frustrated St Peter.
“Ok, I can understand how you came up with your answers to my first two questions, but just how in the world did you come up with the name Andy as the first name of God?”
“Shucks, that was the easiest one of all,” Forrest replied. “I learnt it from the song…

Andy walks with me,
Andy talks with me,
Andy tells me I am his own"

St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates, and said: “Run, Forrest, run.”
That’s my story and I’m sticking too it! Have a GREAT THURSDAY! people, stay safe, and
whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“A new study from Harvard says you can reduce the risk of a potentially fatal heart
condition by eating six bars of chocolate a week. Yeah. It reduces the chance of a
heart attack because once you give up being in shape, you have way less stress.” -James Corden

“A new report recommends that couples who live together should do chores together.
And for some couples, everything they do together is a chore.” -Seth Meyers

“There are now 20 million people in America who do yoga. And none of whom
ever shut up about the fact that they do yoga.” -Jimmy Fallon

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
My wife is a very adventurous cook. “How does this sound?” she called out from
the kitchen. “Bonito, surimi, and anchovies in a decadent, silky broth.”
“Sounds delicious,” I hollered back. “Is that what we’re having tonight?”
“No. I’m reading from this packet of cat food.” 😳

Wednesdays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“You’re not so tough without your car, are ya?”

Answer: Kindergarten Cop!
In “Kindergarten Cop” (1990), Phoebe O’Hara (played by Pamela Reed) has been badly injured by Eleanor Crisp. Eleanor Crisp and her son Cullen Crisp, Sr. are desperately seeking Cullen’s young son, who is being protected from his evil father. Upon finding him, they stop at nothing to try to kidnap the boy, which is when Eleanor drives her car into Phoebe. Injured and weak, taking a bat in hand and heading to the defense of Detective John Kimball (played by Arnold Schwarzenegger), Phoebe manages to knock Eleanor down and out with a baseball bat while expressing this great quote, “You’re not so tough without your car, are ya?”

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from????
“Every man… every man has to go through Hell to reach paradise.”

Wednesday’s Quizzler is….​
A magazine competition invited people to come up with “invented” inventions of the cyber-age.
For example, a solar powered clothes drier (a rope) and a hand-held word processor (a pencil). Can you guess what this is?

It’s a graphic media emulator. High-resolution, thin-screen monitor that produces near-perfect emulations of all graphical media. Used as cosmetic analyzer.

What is it?

Answer: A mirror

Thursday’s Quizzler is…….
Inside we’re wet and outside we’re dry
But the weather we do not defy

Losing our heads, we don’t go berserk
But this is when we do our best work

Some of us activate with a click
Although human power makes us tick

We’re instruments not found in a band
We’re useless unless given a hand

What are we?

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at,


CHECK THIS BOOK OUT online at, The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store.


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