Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to FRIDAY JUNE 11, 2021

Here’s the Story….
A group of friends from the Cottonwood Church wanted to get together on a regular basis, socialize, and play games. The lady of the house was to prepare the meal.
When it came time for Al and Jean to be the hosts, Jean wanted to outdo all the others. She decided to have mushroom-smothered steak. But mushrooms are expensive.
She then told her husband, “No mushrooms. They are too high.”
He said, “Why don’t you go down in the pasture and pick some of those mushrooms? There are plenty in the creek bed.”
She said, “No, some wild mushrooms are poison.”
He said, “Well, I see varmints eating them and they’re OK.”
So Jean decided to give it a try. She picked a bunch, washed, sliced, and diced them for her smothered steak.
Then she went out on the back porch and gave Ol’ Spot (the yard dog) a double handful. Ol’ Spot ate every bite.
All morning long, Jean watched Ol’ Spot and the wild mushrooms didn’t seem to affect him, so she decided to use them.
The meal was a great success, and Jean even hired a helper lady from town to help her serve.
After everyone had finished, they relaxed, socialized, and played cards and dominoes.
About then, the helper lady came in and whispered in Jean’s ear.
She said, “Mrs. Williams, Ol’ Spot is dead.”
Jean went into hysterics. After she finally calmed down, she called the doctor and told him what had happened.
The doctor said, “That’s bad, but I think we can take care of it. I will call for an ambulance and I will be there as quickly as possible. We’ll give everyone enemas and we will pump out everyone’s stomach. Everything will be fine. Just keep them calm.”
Soon they could hear the siren as the ambulance was coming down the road. The EMTs and the doctor had their suitcases, syringes, and a stomach pump.
One by one, they took each person into the bathroom, gave them an enema, and pumped out their stomach. The scene was not pretty.
After the last one was finished, the doctor came out and said, “I think everything will be fine now,” and he left.
They were all looking pretty weak sitting around the living room and about this time the helper lady came in and whispered to Jean, “You know, that fellow that run over Ol’ Spot never even stopped.”
That’s my story and I’m sticking too it! Have a GREAT WEEKEND! people, stay safe, and
whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“Live as if you were to die tomorrow.
Learn as if you were to live forever.”
– Mahatma Gandhi

That which does not kill us makes us stronger.”
– Friedrich Nietzsche

“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those
who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”
– Bernard M. Baruch

“We must not allow other people’s limited perceptions to define us.”
– Virginia Satir

“Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.”
– Theodore Roosevelt

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
A mother mouse and her babies are out for some food-foraging in the backyard of the house where they live one day.
And while she is instructing them about the best ways to find their food, the house cat comes along and narrows his
gaze on the little family, licking his whiskers in anticipation.
Suddenly, the mother mouse steps right out in front of the children and begins to bark like a dog: “Woof! Woof!”
At this surprising turn of events, the house cat looks startled, and backs away.
“Woof! Woof! Woof!” The brave little mouse roars.
Confused, the cat turns tail and runs away. At this, the mother mouse turns to her tiny charges and says:
“You see? This is why I have told you how important it is to learn a second language!” 😳😁😎

Thursdays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“Every man… every man has to go through Hell to reach paradise.”

Answer: Cape Fear!
Sam Bowden is an attorney who, 14 years ago, withheld evidence in his client Max Cady’s rape trial that would have knocked years off Cady’s sentence.
While in prison, Cady dreams of taking his revenge against Bowden. In his mind, Bowden is the reason he’s lost his wife, his child, and 14 years of his life. When Cady is released, he heads straight for Bowden looking for revenge. But instead of going after Bowden himself he focuses on his wife and daughter. The context of the quote is from the scene where Max Cady tricks Bowden’s daughter Danielle into meeting him, allegedly for a part in a school drama. Danielle quickly discovers the ruse and curious, she asks of Cady: “Well um, why do you hate my father?” To which Cady answers: “I don’t hate him at all. Oh, no, I pray for him. I’m here to help him. I mean, we all make mistakes, Danielle. You and I have. At least we try to admit it. Don’t we? But your daddy, he don’t. Every man carries a circle of Hell around his head like a halo. Every man, every man has to go through Hell to reach his paradise.”

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from????
“Ahem, according to Starfleet medical research… Borg implants can cause severe skin irritations. Perhaps you’d like an analgesic cream?”

Thursday’s Quizzler is….​
Inside we’re wet and outside we’re dry
But the weather we do not defy

Losing our heads, we don’t go berserk
But this is when we do our best work

Some of us activate with a click
Although human power makes us tick

We’re instruments not found in a band
We’re useless unless given a hand

What are we?

Answer: pens
lines 1-2: Pens are wet on the inside because of the ink they contain. They are dry on the outside.
lines 3-4: Some pens have caps (“heads”) that need to be removed before one can write with them.
lines 5-6: Other pens work by pressing their button, which often produces the sound of a “click”. This “click” is not to be confused with the click of a computer mouse. Pens work via “human power” whereas computers need electric power in order to function.
lines 7-8: Pens are writing “instruments”, not musical instruments. Without the aid of one’s “hand”, pens are “useless”.

Friday’s Quizzler is…….
When you behead a word, you remove the first letter and still have a valid word. You will be given clues for the two words, longer word first.
Example: Begin -> Sour, acidic
Answer: The words are Start and Tart.

  1. Mark left after healing -> Vehicle
  2. To have hit -> Vehicle
  3. Intelligent -> Individual store
  4. Tiny -> Large retail complex
  5. Take illegally -> Bluish green
  6. Clean the floor -> Cry
  7. Expressed in words -> Give assistance
  8. Talk -> Highest level; summit

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

RECOMMENDED WEBSITE LINKS:
https://elisabethluxe.com., http://www.themuscleministry.com.,

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