Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to WEDNESDAY JULY 21, 2021

Here’s The Story….
The other day, someone at a store in our town read that a Methamphetamine lab had been found in an
old farmhouse in the adjoining county and he asked me a rhetorical question:
“Why didn’t we have a drug problem when you and I were growing up?”
I replied I DID have a drug problem when I was young:

I was drug to church for weddings and funerals.

I was drug to family reunions and community socials no matter the weather.

I was drug by my ears when I was disrespectful to adults. I was also drug to the woodshed when I disobeyed my parents,
told a lie, brought home a bad report card, did not speak with respect, spoke ill of the teacher or the preacher, or if I didn’t put forth my best effort in everything that was asked of me.

I was drug to the kitchen sink to have my mouth washed out with soap if I uttered a profanity. I was drug out to pull weeds in mom’s garden and flowerbeds and cockleburs out of dad’s fields.

I was drug to the homes of family, friends and neighbors to help out some poor soul who had no one to mow the yard, repair the clothesline, or chop some firewood; and, if my mother had ever known that I took a single dime as a tip for this kindness, she would have drug me back to the woodshed.

Those drugs are still in my veins and they affect my behavior in everything I do, say, or think. They are stronger than cocaine, crack, or heroin; and, if today’s children had this kind of drug problem, America would be a better place.

That’s my story and I’m sticking too it! Have a WONDERFUL WEDNESDAY! people, stay safe, and
whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

A father is one whose daughter marries a man who is vastly her
inferior, but then gives birth to unbelievably brilliant grandchildren. ~ Anonymous

Watching your daughter being collected by her date feels like
handing over a million-dollar Stradivarius to a gorilla. ~ Jim Bishop

A father carries pictures where
his money used to be. ~ Anonymous

For Father’s Day we got my dad a t-shirt that says: “Do not resuscitate.”
He wears it whenever my mom takes him to the ballet. ~ Greg Tamblyn

Fatherhood is pretending the present you love
most is soap-on-a-rope. ~ Bill Cosby

On Father’s Day, I’m doing something for my dad that he’s
wanted for years. I’m getting a job. ~ Melanie White

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
Because more and more Seniors are texting, there appears to be a
need for an STC (Senior Texting Code.)
ATD – At The Doctor’s
BFF – Best Friend Fell
BTW – Bring The Wheelchair
BYOT – Bring Your Own Teeth
CBM – Covered By Medicare
CUATSC – See You At The Senior Center
DWI – Driving While Incontinent
FWBB – Friend With Beta Blockers
FWIW – Forgot Where I Was
FYI – Found Your Insulin
GGPBL – Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low
GHA – Got Heartburn Again
IMHO – Is My Hearing-Aid On?
LMDO – Laughing My Dentures Out
LOL – Living On Lipitor
OMMR – On My Massage Recliner
OMSG – Oh My! Sorry, Gas.
ROFL – CGU – Rolling On The Floor Laughing… And Can’t Get Up
TTYL – Talk To You Louder
WAITT – Who Am I Talking To?
WTP – Where’s The Prunes?
WWNO – Walker Wheels Need Oil
GGLKI – Gotta Go, Laxative Kicking In

Tuesdays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“Dodge this”

Answer: The Matrix!
“The Matrix” is a computer program that we all think is reality. The actual reality is that we are all being used as batteries to supply power to the machines which have taken over the Earth. Neo (Keanu Reeves) is a computer hacker who is recruited by a small band of people trying to free humans the world over. Neo is touted as “The One”, a leader who will finally break through the Matrix, if only he can believe in himself. After Neo and Trinity (Carrie-Ann Moss) save Morpheus (Laurence Fishburne) from the clutches of the agents, Neo dodges a hail of bullets fired by Agent Brown (Paul Goddard). However, he is grazed by one bullet and falls to the ground. As the agent stands over him preparing to administer the coup-de-grace, Trinity presses her gun against the agent’s head, says “Dodge this” and fires. Unfortunately, it isn’t that easy to kill an agent. This time he has taken over the body of a policeman who subsequently dies. The agent reappears later.

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“Sanka! You dead?”

Tuesday’s Quizzler is….​
This is considered by some to be the ultimate tool. With its waterproof properties, it was quickly adopted for a specific military application when originally introduced. The US Government also has recommended that all homes have it available. Along with its waterproof properties, it is known for its superior bonding, is heat resistant, and is extremely strong. It is easy to use with no training required, and is widely available in various sizes and colors. NASA thinks so highly of this, it is included on every flight that leaves the launch pad. No home, military unit, or spacecraft should be without it.

What type of tool is this?

Answer: Duct Tape.
Remember the Dept of Homeland Security warning to purchase duct tape and plastic to help against biological or chemical attacks. And yes, NASA does send up duct tape with every flight. It was useful in the famous troubled Apollo 13 mission, and was credited in part with saving the lives of those astronauts.

Wednesday’s Quizzler is…….
For each of the following word pairs, you are looking for a two word answer. The first is a rhyme of the first word and gives the category. The second word is a rhyme and is a specific word in that category. For example, “Kitty, Tennis” translates to “City, Venice”.

  1. Fainter, Jolly
  2. Slumber, Heaven
  3. Reason, Printer
  4. Quiver, Bongo
  5. Power, Crazy
  6. Handy, Muffle
  7. Sticker, Frisky

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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https://elisabethluxe.com., http://www.themuscleministry.com.

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