Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to MONDAY JULY 26, 2021
The baby boomer Rock stars are revising their hits with new lyrics. They include:

♬ Bobby Darin’s: “Splish, Splash, I Am Having A Flash!”   

♬ Herman’s Hermits: “Mrs. Brown, You’ve Got a Lovely Walker!”   

♬ Ringo Starr: “I Get By With A Little Help From Depends!”   

♬ The Bee Gees: “How Can You Mend A Broken Hip?”   

♬ Roberta Flack: “The First Time Ever I Forgot Your Face!”   

♬ Johnny Nash: “I Can’t See Clearly Now!   

♬ Paul Simon: “Fifty Ways To Lose Your Liver”   

♬ The Commodores: “Once, Twice, Three times To The Bathroom!”   

♬ Procol Harem: “A Whiter Shade Of Hair!”   

♬ Leo Sayer: “You Make Me Feel Like Napping!”   

♬ The Temptations: “Papa’s Got A Kidney Stone!”   

♬ Abba: “Denture Queen!”   

♬ Tony Orlando: “Knock 3 Times On The Ceiling If You Hear Me Fall!”   

♬ Helen Reddy: “I Am Woman; Hear Me Snore!”   

♬ The Beatles: “I Get By with a Little Help From Depends”   

♬ Steely Dan: “Rikki Don’t Lose Your Car Keys”   

♬ The Rolling Stones: “You Can’t Always Pee When You Want”   

♬ Credence Clearwater Revival: “Bad Prune Rising”   

♬ The Who: “Talkin’ ‘Bout My Medication”   

♬ The Troggs: “Bald Thing”       

And, last, but NOT least,    ♬ Leslie Gore: “It’s My Procedure, and I’ll Cry If I Want To!”
That’s my story and I’m sticking too it! Have a GREAT MONDAY! people, stay safe, and
whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here!  Eucman!  😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y
“According to a new study, 1 in 3 children in the United States have divorced parents. While the other two-thirds are the only reason their parents are staying together.” Seth Meyers

“Starbucks is going to start carrying coconut milk. If you want to stay competitive in the coffee business you’ve got to consistently provide your customers with new ways to make their orders more annoying.” -Jimmy Kimmel

“According to a recent survey, 12 percent of Americans say that it’s fine to cheat a little on your taxes. While the other 88 percent know not to talk to a guy with a clipboard asking them if they cheat on their taxes.” -Jimmy Fallon

Guaranteed to Roll Your EyesOur armored car arrived earlier than usual, so my deposit wasn’t quite ready. As the young man waited patiently for me to secure the bag, I said, “Sorry to hold you up.””Delay, delay,” he corrected me. “We don’t use that other phrase.”  😁😎

Fridays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ”    “Tell him he’s dreaming”  Answer:  The Castle!”The Castle” is another Australian film, this time about the Kerrigan family who love their house and its proximity to the runway of a large airport. When the council wants to resume the entire street, a legal battle of David and Goliath proportions arises.
One of the Kerrigan sons, Steve (Anthony Simcoe) loves buying and trading weird and wonderful items through “The Trading Post”. Whenever he tells his father Darryl (Michael Caton) about something he wants to buy, Darryl’s response to the cost is “Tell him he’s dreaming.”While the family is concerned that not only, they, but all of their Neighbours as well, may lose their houses, Steve is more concerned about buying a pair of jousting sticks. 
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???  Hire the smart, fat girl.

Friday’s Quizzler is….​A spoonerism is a pair of words that can have their initial sounds switched to form new words. The pairs need only sound the same, not necessarily be spelled the same (power saw & sour paw, horse cart & coarse heart). There may sometimes be one or two connecting words (kick the stone & stick the cone, king of the rats & ring of the cats). Given the following definitions, what are the spoonerisms?
1) punched when starting work & discussion about scaling a mountain2) a container of fibs & a shortage of baked goods3) hasty vacation & prank gibe4) a mongoose & artificial precipitation  Answer:  1) time clock & climb talk2) pack of lies & lack of pies3) quick trip & trick quip4) snake foe & fake snow  

Monday’s Quizzler is…….What same three letters fit into the following five combinations to form 5 words?

_ _ _ E FF A _ _ _ CD E _ _ _ SH Y _ _ _ DL U _ _ _ C A N T

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

RECOMMENDED WEBSITE LINKS:https://elisabethluxe.com.,  http://www.themuscleministry.com.

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