Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!



Sign over a Gynecologist’s Office:
“Dr. Jones, at your cervix.”

In a Podiatrist’s office:
“Time wounds all heels.”

On a Septic Tank Truck in Oregon:
“Yesterday’s Meals on Wheels”

At a Proctologist’s door:
“To expedite your visit please back in.”

On a Plumber’s truck:
“Don’t sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.”

At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee:
“Invite us to your next blowout.”

At a Towing company:
“We don’t charge an arm and a leg. We want tows.”

On an Electrician’s truck:
“Let us remove your shorts.”

On a Maternity Room door:
“Push. Push. Push.”

At an Optometrist’s Office:
“If you don’t see what you’re looking for, you’ve come to the right place.”

On a Taxidermist’s window:
“We really know our stuff.”

On a Fence:
“Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive.”

At a Car Dealership:
“The best way to get back on your feet — miss a car payment.”

Outside a Muffler Shop:
“No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.”

In a Veterinarian’s waiting room:
“Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!”

At the Electric Company:
“We would be delighted if you send in your payment. However, if you don’t, you will be.”

In a Restaurant window:
“Don’t stand there and be hungry, Come on in and get fed up.”

In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
“Drive carefully. We’ll wait.”

At a Propane Filling Station:
“Thank heaven for little grills.”

Chicago Radiator Shop:
“Best place in town to take a leak”

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a WONDERFUL WEDNESDAY people,
stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“Sing like no one’s listening, love like you’ve never been hurt,
dance like nobody’s watching, and live like
it’s heaven on earth.” – (Attributed to various sources)

“Curiosity about life in all of its aspects, I think, is still
the secret of great creative people.” – Leo Burnett

“Life is not a problem to be solved, but a reality
to be experienced.”– Soren Kierkegaard

“The unexamined life is
not worth living.” — Socrates

“Turn your wounds into wisdom.” — Oprah Winfrey

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
I handed the teller at my bank a withdrawal slip for $400. I said, “I’d like large bills, please.”
She looked at me and said, “I’m sorry sir, all the bills are the same size.”
When I got up off the floor I explained it to her. 😁

Tuesdays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“Tonya, can you play the balalaika?”
“Can she play? She’s an artist!”

Answer: Doctor Zhivago!
In the events leading up to this scene, young Dr. Yuri Zhivago (Omar Sharif) meets and falls in love with nurse Lara Antipova (Julie Christie), loses track of her and then finds her again. Much of this movie is set during the Russian Revolution and against the vastness of the Russian landscape. In this scene (the last scene in the movie), Yuri’s half brother, General Yevgraf Zhivago (Alec Guinness), has tracked down a young woman he thinks might be the daughter of Yuri and Lara and talks to her. As she leaves with her boyfriend (Mark Eden) he notices she is carrying a balalaika (a Russian stringed instrument and one of Yuri’s favorites). He shouts line one after her, as they leave and her boyfriend shouts back line two. General Zhivago responds with the last line in the movie, “Ah, then it’s a gift.” In the 1966 Academy Awards “Doctor Zhivago” won five Oscars and was nominated for five more, including Best Picture (but lost to “The Sound of Music”). This is one of those epic movies by director David Lean that needs to be seen on a wide screen to be fully appreciated.

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“What do you mean, twenty feet short?”
“You’re twenty feet short of the woods. The hole is right here in open. The guard is between us and the lights.”

Tuesday’s Quizzler is….​
A man leaves home on foot one evening, makes three left turns and arrives back
home to find two masked men waiting there. Who are they?

Answer: The catcher and the umpire.

Wednesday’s Quizzler is…….
Hidden in each sentence is a word. For example, in the sentence: When I grow up, I want to be a ranger.
(Hidden animal) The hidden word is BEAR from “to BE A Ranger”. Now, try to identify the hidden colors in the sentences below:

I agree not to eat all the food.
Bob decided to jump in, knowing that this is his only choice.
The sunset makes Cairo seem magnificent.
Some states ship lumber and coal on canal barges.

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at,


CHECK THIS BOOK OUT online at, The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store.
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