WELCOME to TUESDAY SEPTEMBER 7, 2021
Here’s The Story……
I’ve been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself, but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second grade classroom a few years back. When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few sessions with my students. It helps them get over shyness and usually, show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that. And I never, ever place any boundaries or limitations on them. If they want to lug it in to school and talk about it, they’re welcome.
Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing kid, takes her turn and waddles up to the front
of the class with a pillow stuffed under her sweater. She holds up a snapshot of an infant. “This is Luke, my baby brother, and I’m going to tell you about his birthday.” “First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad put a seed in my Mom’s stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for nine months through an umbrella cord.” She’s standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I’m trying not to laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The kids are watching her in amazement. “Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts going, ‘Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh!’ (Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans.) “She walked around the house for, like an hour, ‘Oh, oh, oh!’ (Now this kid is doing a hysterical duck walk and groaning.) “My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn’t have a sign on the car like the Domino’s man. They got my Mom to lie down in bed like this.” (Then Erica lies down with her back against the wall.) “And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, like psshhheew!” (This kid has her legs spread with her little hands miming water flowing away. It was too much!) “Then the middle wife starts saying ‘push, push,’ and ‘breathe, breathe.’ They started counting, but never even got past ten. Then, all of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff that they all said it was from Mom’s play-center, so there must be a lot of toys inside there. When he got out, the middle wife spanked him for crawling up in there in the first place.” Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat.
I’m sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then, when it’s Show-and-tell day, I bring my camcorder, just in case another “Middle Wife” comes along. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a HAPPY TUESDAY people,
stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁
q u o t e s o f t h e d a y
“Today is national dog day. Dogs, as you’re probably aware, were widely considered
to be man’s best friend, until 2007 when the iPhone was invented to replace it.” -Jimmy Kimmel
“A new study claims that first grade students are getting three times more homework than
they should be doing. This is coming from the lead researcher, ‘Timmy.'” -Conan O’Brien
“A new study shows that young adults suffering from insomnia are at higher risk of a stroke.
So, that information should help you finally get some sleep.” -Seth Meyers
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
One of my first assignments as a trainee in an auto-body shop was a car needing a
new fender and some door repairs. I spent hours doing a perfect job, but when the owner
came to pick it up, he wasn’t pleased.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
Pointing to the side of the car, he complained about the paint not matching, uneven gaps
between panels, and a host of other problems. He demanded an explanation.
“The repairs were to the other side,” I noted. 😳😁😎
Fridays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“That’s a lie! Harry Bailey went to war. He got the Congressional Medal of Honor. He saved the lives of every man on that transport.”
“Every man on that transport died. Harry wasn’t there to save them, because you weren’t there to save Harry.”
Answer: It’s a Wonderful Life!
In the events leading up to this scene, Uncle Billy (Thomas Mitchell) misplaces a bank deposit for the savings and loan company owned by George Bailey (Jimmy Stewart) and can’t find it. George realizes the Bank Examiner will blame him and that his small SandL will fail. Thinking his wife and their children will be better off with him dead, he contemplates suicide. An angel named Clarence, trying to earn his wings (Henry Travers), is sent to Earth to try and dissuade George from doing this. In this scene, Clarence shows George the town cemetery and George spots a headstone for his brother Harry (Todd Karns), whom he had saved as a youngster, after he broke through some ice. An indignant George says line one and Clarence explains why the headstone is there with line two. As Clarence says, “Remember, George, no man is a failure who has friends.” In the 1947 Academy Awards, “It’s a Wonderful Life ” was nominated in five categories, including Best Picture (but lost to “The Best Years of Our Lives”). Jimmy Stewart was reluctant to take the role of George, feeling that he was not up to it so soon after World War II (he flew 20 combat missions as a bomber pilot during the war).
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“Tonya, can you play the balalaika?”
“Can she play? She’s an artist!”
Friday’s Quizzler is….
You made it through the last door, but will you be that lucky again?
Someone is making this harder and harder. To prove this, there are 7 doors. Each door has its own clue and they’re all true. The colours of the doors are:
Red, Green, Blue, Yellow, Purple, Orange, and Brown.
Red door’s clue: This door is in the middle. It’s three spots away from the door to freedom.
Green door’s clue: This door is three spaces from the colour made by mixing red and blue. It’s farther left than the red door.
Blue door’s clue: This door is directly right of the purple door.
Yellow door’s clue: This door is farther right than the red door but left of the purple door.
Purple door’s clue: This door is four spots away from the brown door.
Brown door’s clue: This door is next to the orange door.
Orange door: This door is not the door to freedom.
Which color door is the door to freedom?
Answer: The blue door leads to freedom. The order of the doors are:
Orange, Brown, Green, Red, Yellow, Purple, Blue.
Tuesday’s Quizzler is…….
A man leaves home on foot one evening, makes three left turns and arrives back home to find two masked men waiting there. Who are they?
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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