WELCOME to THURSDAY SEPTEMBER 23, 2021
BACHELOR: A nice guy who has cheated some nice girl out of her alimony.
BRIDE: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
COMPROMISE: An amiable arrangement between husband and wife whereby they agree to let her have her own way.
DIPLOMAT: A man who can convince his wife she would look fat in a fur coat.
GENTLEMAN: A husband who steadies the stepladder so that his wife will not fall while she paints the ceiling.
HOUSEWORK: What the wife does that nobody notices until she doesn’t do it.
HUSBAND: A man who gives up privileges he never realized he had.
JOINT CHECKING ACCOUNT: A handy little device which permits the wife to beat the husband to the draw.
LOVE: An obsessive delusion that is cured by marriage.
MOTHER-IN-LAW: A woman who destroys her son-in-law’s peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.
MRS.: A job title involving heavy duties, light earnings, and no recognition.
SPOUSE: Someone who will stand by you through all the trouble you wouldn’t have had if you’d stayed single in the first place.
WIFE: A mate who is forever complaining about not having anything to wear at the very same time that she complains about not having enough room in the closet.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT THURSDAY people,
stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁
q u o t e s o f t h e d a y
If you ask Rick Astley for his copy of the movie ‘UP’ he cannot give it to you as he will
never give you up. However, in doing so he lets you down. Thus, creating the Astley Paradox.
Eating too much cake is the sin of gluttony. However, eating
too much pie is okay, because the sin of Pi is always zero.
All I know about Argentina is that it’s surprisingly
cold. In fact, it’s bordering on Chile. 😁
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
Finishing up our work at a trade show in San Diego, my co-worker Maureen and I decided to go
sightseeing across the border in Tijuana, Mexico. While there, we went shopping and bought a few pieces of clay kitchenware.
As we crossed back into the United States, a customs official asked if we had anything of value to report.
“Not really,” Maureen replied, digging in her bag for the bean crock she had purchased. Everyone
around us froze as she continued, “I only bought a little pot.” 😲
Wednesdays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“This dude got dogs. I don’t do dogs. I had a real bad experience, man.”
Answer: The Italian Job!
In the events leading up to this scene, a gang of thieves steals $35 million dollars worth of gold bars in Venice, Italy. However, one of the thieves double crosses his companions and keeps all the gold for himself. One year later, in Los Angeles, the surviving team members plan to get it back and get their revenge on the traitor. In this scene Left Ear (Mos Def) is casing out the security features at the house of traitor Steve Frezelli (Edward Norton) when he spots two guard dogs. He then reports the first line by wireless telephone to team leader Charlie Croker (Mark Wahlberg) and Croker responds with the second line. The high-speed boat chase in the canals of Venice won an award and the chases involving several Mini Coopers in Los Angeles should have (in my opinion).
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“Sonny, you could give up.”
“Give up? Right. Have you ever been in prison?”
Wednesday’s Quizzler is….
In this teaser, you are given odd definitions of terms. The terms must be found, and they sound approximately like the names of U.S. states. Can you get all five?
- What a certain spectator sport’s spectators do
- Doing 2,000 pounds of laundry
- What to buy if you’re only slightly thirsty
- Mindful of a wooded valley
- Bauxite that is missing
The hint gives the first letter of each state name.
Answer: 1. What a certain spectator sport’s spectators do: “tennis-see” (Tennessee)
- Doing 2,000 pounds of laundry: “washing ton” (Washington)
- What to buy if you’re only slightly thirsty: “mini-soda” (Minnesota)
- Mindful of a wooded valley: “dell-aware” (Delaware)
- Bauxite that is missing: “ore gone” (Oregon)
Thursday’s Quizzler is…….
Six letters have I, and many more;
One word tells what the others are for;
Conceal a thing is what I do;
So what am I? Need a clue?
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
CHECK THIS BOOK OUT online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#, Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store.