Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to WEDNESDAY SEPTEMBER 22, 2021

Here’s The Story……
Lost on a rainy night, a nun stumbles across a monastery and requests shelter there. Fortunately, she’s just in time for dinner and is treated to the best fish and chips she’s ever had. After dinner,
she goes into the kitchen to thank the chefs. She is met by two brothers, “Hello, I’m Brother Michael,
and this is Brother Charles.” “I’m very pleased to meet you”, said the Nun. I just wanted to thank you
for a wonderful dinner. The fish and chips were the best I’ve ever tasted. Out of curiosity, who cooked what?” Brother Charles replied, “Well, I’m the fish friar.”
She turns the other brother and says, “Then you must be…?”
“Yes, I’m afraid I’m the chip monk.”
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a WONDERFUL WEDNESDAY people,
stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“This weekend a couple from Connecticut will have the longest marriage ever recorded in the U.S.
They said the secret to their long-lasting marriage is love, compromise, and the fact that neither
one of them has been able to hear a word the other one has said in more than 30 years.” -Jimmy Kimmel

“A study found that many types of head lice have mutated and now have become resistant to
over-the-counter treatments. The problem has scientists scratching their heads.” -Conan O’Brien

“The federal government has a new plan that will let people send texts to 911. Yeah, it’s a little
frustrating when you try to text, ‘Burglar! Please hurry!,’ and it auto-corrects to,
‘Burger, please. Hungry.'” -Jimmy Fallon

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
Father O’Malley rose from his bed one morning. It was a fine spring day in his new Texas mission parish. He walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of the beautiful day outside. He then noticed there was a jackass lying dead in the middle of his front lawn. He promptly called the local police station.
The conversation went like this: “Good morning. This is Sergeant Jones. How might I help you?”
“And the best of the day t’ yerself’. This is Father O’Malley at St. Ann’s Catholic Church. There’s a jackass lying dead in me front lawn and would ye be so kind as to send a couple o’ yer’ lads to take care of the matter?” Sergeant Jones, considering himself to be quite a wit, replied with a smirk, “Well now, Father,…. it was always my impression that you people took care of the last rites!”
There was dead silence on the line for a long moment…
Father O’Malley then replied: “Aye, ’tis certainly true; but we are also obliged to notify the next of kin first, which is the reason for me call.”😁😎

Tuesdays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“I’m poor, black, I may even be ugly, but dear God I’m here, I’m here!”
“You’ll be back. What you gone do? You’ll be back “

Answer: The Color Purple!
In the events leading up to this scene, Celie (Whoopi Goldberg) has endured years of physical and mental abuse by her husband Albert (Danny Glover). In this scene Celie finally has had enough and tells Albert she is leaving him and going to Memphis, Tennessee with houseguest Shug Avery (Margaret Avery) and her husband. As they leave Celie says the first line and Albert runs after the car shouting the second. In the 1986 Academy Awards, “The Color Purple” was nominated for Oscars in 11 categories but didn’t win any. This movie was the film debut of TV talk show host Oprah Winfrey (she played Sofia).

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“This dude got dogs. I don’t do dogs. I had a real bad experience, man.”
“What happened?”

Tuesday’s Quizzler is….
Decode this well known nursery rhyme:
A small number of child laborers were attempting to traverse a more elevated position in a vain attempt to procure a quarter of a rundlet of a hydrogen and oxygen compound. Half their number experienced an uncontrollable descent that resulted in severe damage to the pate. And soon it came to pass that the rest of the labor force followed suit, but with far less serious consequences.

Answer: Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
To fetch a pail of water
Jack fell down
And broke his Crown
And Jill came tumbling after.

Wednesday’s Quizzler is…….
In this teaser, you are given odd definitions of terms. The terms must be found, and they sound approximately like the names of U.S. states. Can you get all five?

What a certain spectator sport’s spectators do
Doing 2,000 pounds of laundry
What to buy if you’re only slightly thirsty
Mindful of a wooded valley
Bauxite that is missing

The hint gives the first letter of each state name.

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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