WELCOME to TUESDAY SEPTEMBER 21, 2021
Medical Info For Women…..
Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.
Q: I’m two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.
Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby’s sex?
Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she’s borderline irrational.
A: So what’s your question?
Q: My childbirth instructor says it’s not pain I’ll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.?
Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out you’re pregnant.
Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?
A: Not unless the word “alimony” means anything to you.
Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy.
Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby’s diaper very quickly.
Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A: When the kids are in college.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a HAPPY TUESDAY people,
stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁
q u o t e s o f t h e d a y
“A Stanford study suggests that social media is making us smarter. They examined hundreds of
essays written by college freshmen between 1917 and 2006. By 2016, the papers were longer,
better researched, and more complex. That’s because kids in 2016 cut and pasted them from Wikipedia.” -Jimmy Kimmel
“NASA is sending chocolate to astronauts on the International Space Station. I guess it makes sense
I mean, it’s not like those guys have to watch their weight. “Nope, still zero pounds.'” -Jimmy Fallon
“Psychologists now believe that adulthood begins at 25, not 18. They also believe that middle age
begins the first time you eat at a Denny’s while sober.” -Conan O’Brien
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
A Sunday School teacher wanted to use squirrels as an example of a diligent work ethic and being prepared.
She started the lesson by saying, “I’m going to describe something, and I want you to raise your hand when
you know what it is.” The children were excited to show her what they knew and leaned forward eagerly.
“I’m thinking of something that lives in trees and eats nuts.” No hands went up. “It can be gray or brown and
it has a long bushy tail.” The children looked around the room at each other, but still no one raised a hand.
“It chatters and sometimes it flips its tail when it’s excited?”
Finally one little boy shyly raised his hand. The teacher breathed a sigh of relief and said, “Okay, Michael. What do you think it is?”
“Well,” said the boy, “I know the answer’s supposed to be Jesus, but it sure sounds like a squirrel to me.” 😁
Mondays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“I know you’re counting cards. What else are you doing?”
“Are you taking any prescription medication?”
Answer: Rain Man!
In the events leading up to this scene, yuppie car salesman Charlie Babbitt (Tom Cruise) picks up his autistic brother Raymond (Dustin Hoffman) from his institutional home in Cincinnati and starts driving them to Charlie’s home in Los Angeles. Just after they pass Las Vegas, Charlie realizes Raymond’s phenomenal memory would give them an edge playing the card game blackjack. They pull a hasty U turn and head for a casino. In this scene Raymond is approached by a prostitute in the casino who asks Raymond the first line. He replies with the off-the-wall comment in the second line. In the 1989 Academy Awards, “Rain Man” won four Oscars, including Best Picture and Best Actor in a Leading Role for Dustin Hoffman. Dustin Hoffman was originally cast as Charlie, but after seeing a real autistic savant he switched it so he played Raymond.
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“I’m poor, black, I may even be ugly, but dear God I’m here, I’m here!”
“You’ll be back. What you gone do? You’ll be back “
Monday’s Quizzler is….
Answer: Get up and go
Tuesday’s Quizzler is…….
Decode this well known nursery rhyme:
A small number of child laborers were attempting to traverse a more elevated position in a vain attempt to procure a quarter of a rundlet of a hydrogen and oxygen compound. Half their number experienced an uncontrollable descent that resulted in severe damage to the pate. And soon it came to pass that the rest of the labor force followed suit, but with far less serious consequences.
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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