WELCOME to MONDAY SEPTEMBER 20, 2021
Here’s The Story….
A woman decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and the horse immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the horse’s mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse’s neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly impervious to its slipping rider. Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps away from the horse to try and throw herself to safety.
Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup, she is now at the mercy of the horse’s pounding
hooves as her head is struck against the ground over and over. As her head is battered against the ground,
she is mere moments away from unconsciousness when to her great fortune…
the Walmart manager sees her and shuts the horse off.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT MONDAY people,
stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁
q u o t e s o f t h e d a y
“Year, (noun) A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments.”
–Ambrose Bierce’s DEVIL’S DICTIONARY
“Few things are harder to put up with than the
annoyance of a good example.” –Mark Twain
“I’m sick of following my dreams. I’m just going to ask them where they’re
going and hook up with them later.” -Mitch Hedberg
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
My family physician told me of an incident that actually happened to him back in the early days of his practice.
He said a woman brought her baby to see him, and he determined right away that the baby had an earache.
He wrote a prescription for ear drops. In the directions he wrote, “Put two drops in right ear every four hours”
and he abbreviated “right” as an R with a circle around it. Several days passed, and the woman returned with her baby,
complaining that the baby still had an earache, and his little behind was getting really greasy with all those drops of oil.
The doctor looked at the bottle of ear drops and sure enough, the pharmacist had typed the following instructions on the label:
“Put two drops in R ear every four hours.” 😳
Fridays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“Which one, sir?”
“All of them.”
Answer: Saving Private Ryan!
In the events leading up to this scene a clerk, responsible for sending out death notification telegrams after the D-Day invasion in World War II, notices that one mother will get three telegrams at the same time, announcing three of her four sons have been killed. General Omar Bradley (Harve Presnell) decides the fourth son is to be pulled out of the fighting and Captain John Miller (Tom Hanks) and a squad of soldiers are sent to try and locate him. In this scene Captain Miller finds him and says, “James, I’m here to tell you your brothers were killed in combat. They’re dead.” Private Ryan (Matt Damon) asks the question in the first line and Captain Miller replies with the second. In the 1999 Academy Awards “Saving Private Ryan” won five Oscars and was nominated for six more, including Best Picture. Best Picture that year was won by “Shakespeare in Love.” This movie was based on the true story of the Niland brothers. One was killed on D-Day while in the 82nd Airborne, one was killed on Utah Beach with the 4th Infantry Division, and a third was reported killed that same week in Burma (but later turned up alive). Mrs. Niland received all three death notification telegrams on the same day. The fourth son was serving with the 101st Airborne and was ordered pulled out of the front lines, but couldn’t be found. He survived anyway.
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“I know you’re counting cards. What else are you doing?”
“Are you taking any prescription medication?”
Friday’s Quizzler is….
Using the following hints, how can you get from the first word to the fourth word to the seventh word?
Word 2 is a synonym of Word 1. One letter of the second word has been changed to make Word 3. Word 3 was changed to present tense to make Word 4. Word 5 is a synonym of Word 4. One letter was removed from Word 5 to make Word 6. Word 7 is a synonym of Word 6.
Giant _ Bite _ Chop
Answer: Giant to Big to Bit to Bite to Chew to Hew to Chop.
Monday’s Quizzler is…….
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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