Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to FRIDAY JANUARY 7, 2021

Bad Punagraphy…

I went to the store to pick up some camouflage pants,
But I couldn’t find any.

Why are colds such bad robbers?
They’re so easy to catch.

What do you call a person with a briefcase in a tree?
Branch manager.

I bought some cool shoes from a drug dealer.
I don’t know what he laced them with, but I’ve been tripping all day.

Two cannibals are eating a clown.
One says to the other, “Does this taste funny to you?”

What do you call a factory that sells passable products?
A satisfactory.

Why did Mozart kill all his chickens?
When he asked them to name the world’s best composer, they all said, “Bach bach bach!”

What did the drummer call his two twin daughters?
Anna one, Anna two.

What do you call a crab that plays baseball?
A pinch hitter.

How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a little boogey in it.

Why are there gates around cemeteries?
People are dying to get in!

What is a ninja’s favorite type of shoe?
Sneakers.

What do you call a bear without any teeth?
A gummy bear.

What did the fish say when he swam into a wall?
“Dam.”

When’s the best time to go to the dentist?
Tooth-hurtie.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT WEEKEND people,
stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

Hope and Courage Quotes by Martin Luther King Jr.

“In some not too distant tomorrow, the radiant stars of love and brotherhood
will shine over our great nation with all of their scintillating beauty.”

“I’ve seen the promised land. I may not get there with you. But I want you to
know tonight that we, as a people, will get to the promised land.”

“We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope.”

“But I know, somehow, that only when it is dark enough can you see the stars.”

“Courage faces fear and thereby masters it.”

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
A man walks into a bar and it’s empty – it’s just him and the bartender. He sits down and orders a drink. He hears someone whisper, “Pssst…I like your tie.” The man looks around but doesn’t see anyone. “Pssst…that color looks nice on you.” He asks the bartender, “Excuse me, but…are you speaking to me?” The bartender rolls his eyes and says, “No, sorry about that. It’s the peanuts… they’re complimentary.” 😳

Thursdays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“I don’t drink…coffee.”

Answer: Dracula 2000
Actor Gerard Butler plays Dracula in this 21st century vampire tale. Award winning actor Christopher Plummer plays Matthew Van Helsing, the great-grandson of Abraham Van Helsing, the legendary vampire hunter. During an exchange with Lucy, played by actress Colleen Fitzpatrick, she asks him if he would like a soda or coffee. To this the vampire replies haltingly “I don’t drink…coffee”. The two were engaging in small talk after meeting at the local mall. It is not long after this that he turns her into a vampire like himself. The only thing that Dracula thirsts for is blood. To become monster that may live for centuries, and cannot drink coffee, sounds like a curse to me.

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“This is espresso, you know? It’s like Coffee-zilla.”

Thursday’s Quizzler is….
Decipher this phrase:

FAIRY
WOLF
DUCKLING

Answer: The good, the bad, and the ugly

Friday’s Quizzler is…….
Can you unscramble the names in Part 1 and match them with what
they are famous for in Part 2? And your answer is?

Part 1

MMAADUHM IAL
EETASLB
AONDLR EGRANA
OARWDH HHGSEU
AYR RSELACH
VLSIE REELYSP

Part 2

Businessman, movie producer and aviator.
First real rock and roll star and first rock star to crossover into films.
Oldest president elected when he took office.
Inducted into the Blues Hall of Fame, Rock and Roll’s Hall of Fame and received Life Time Achievement Award.
Boastful boxer who suffers from Parkinson’s disease.
Song group who shaped music and an entire generation.

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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